07-27-01 @ 6:24 pm EDT

My community is dead. Gone for good. -_-

I do wish I could have retrieved a FEW more things...I had copied a few of my funnier answers to here, and was intending on putting them in my Junk Drawer ("Rules For Cats" was one of them), but now I won't have the chance...I'm glad I got my dreams copied, but still...you're always in denial, no matter how negative you are, until you get the word.

Now that the word is out, I'm worried that those of us who gathered at Yahoo! will now just go our separate ways. I wasn't planning to, of course; I LIKED how the Club picked up and we chatted with each other. (Today, of course a flamer showed up. "I hated that site, Tehuti's endless drivel (MY how convenient that I'm only one of TWO that they mention by name!), bla bla bla, I'm glad it's gone"--well, you were so glad it's gone you just HAD to come to the site Club and post about it! How cute.)

At least I will hopefully not have to deal with SN's crap anymore. I bet she's actually very sad that the site is gone, if she wasn't that flamer herself. (Which I wouldn't doubt.) She was the one who posted the original hack threat, but the way she clung to that site like a grape to a vine, no matter how much she bitched, I bet she's in withdrawal now too. :) (Hey, allow me my petty moment. She was very, very rarely a pleasant person, and most certainly wasn't so toward the end. I don't gloat that she has nowhere to go, I just gloat that she doesn't have THERE to return to. I'm sure she'll manage. Somewhere WITHOUT me, thank God.)

A community is not a site itself, it's the people who made up the site. But without the site as focus--even in the limbo we thought it might be in, now that it is permanently GONE--I fear there will be no more community. People will suddenly realize they have other things to do, and will move on. Or, disenchanted like me, they will go elsewhere and try again...without me. All of my life I have been the one to be left behind while others go on with their lives. It's not always that I'm stuck in my place. It's just that the things I appreciate...nobody else seems to appreciate them, for long.

How long before I'm the only one left in the Club which was once deserted, and may very well be deserted again?

I'm fearing it won't be too long... :(

I'm putting this journal on "Allow everybody" because the site is dead now and there's a bit less chance, I believe, of any of them finding it, except those who already know of this portfolio. To them, I say, if you ever see yourself in this journal...well, I hope the description was warning enough that you shouldn't have read if you might not like what you see.

I have to go find something else to do for a while, hopefully take my mind off this...