07-18-01 @ 6:48 am EDT

You know...one of the main reasons I'm very, very reluctant to keep this journal going, even after just one entry, is the fear that someone will come along, see it, read it, say, "God, this is horrible!" and then ding it with one star and move on without saying why it was so offensive to them. There are some who do not understand the difference between getting something off your chest and...literature...or whatever. I would never rate a journal--or anything personal, for that matter--with one star, at the very least without saying WHY, at least anonymously. Journals, unless specifically designed for another purpose (such as fictional journals), are MEANT to be messy, haphazard, not-too-pretty things in which we quite literally spill our guts. They are not always nice to look at, and most people will not always like them. This is the way of the world when it comes to personal opinion, and I do not penalize people for that.

There are, however, others who do.

This is the reason I don't want to post these gripes elsewhere; if you read the first entry, you can see how all too easy it is to get flamed or griped at, for absolutely NOTHING. If it's that easy to get flamed for nothing, then how much easier is it to get flamed for actually griping?

I'm afraid this journal will get poor ratings (even though, I know, it should not matter), and that makes me cringe and want to just delete it and say, "It never existed."

Do you know how much it hurts to pour your heart into something, albeit in a whiny matter, and then to pretty much be told, "This thing sucks, your personal views suck, one star!"?

If that happens I very well may just put this thing on private, print out what I like if anything, and get rid of it...

On a similar note, if there is anyone actually reading this far, would you mind taking a look at this and letting me know what you think?

The H. P. Lovecraft Word Search!

I wanted to do some word searches to entertain others. Seriously. So I asked elsewhere for ideas, and Lovecraft was one that was given, since I LOVE his works. I found it fun to make the word search, and hoped others would like it.

Well, even if they didn't...I have received no explanation why it is so very horrible that it got one star. Whoever rated it didn't see fit to tell me what I could improve, if anything.

So now I'm thinking:

1. They found it sucky for some reason and didn't feel like telling me why--so why bother rating it?--why not let me know what I can do to fix it!--or

2. It's somebody who hates Lovecraft, I would have gotten the one star no matter what I did to it; or

3. It's somebody who doesn't like me?--who on this site would that be?--though it doesn't take long for me to make enemies...or

4. Whoever rated it...wrong place, wrong time, wrong whatever, they just don't like word searches, they felt like clicking on the one star for no reason, who knows; or

5. The word search REALLY, TRULY is sucky. Well--WHY IS IT? Could somebody let me know??

Truly please, if it is really as horrible as whoever rated it wanted me to know, please let me know what is so bad about it and I'll either fix it or...well...get rid of it, I guess. Looking at it myself, I see nothing wrong with it. It warrants at least a three star. It is NOT the one star itself that bothers me, rather that somebody found it truly awful and didn't let me know what I could do to fix it.

Isn't support and helpful criticism what this site is meant to offer? How does a poor rating and no explanation help me?

...Sorry about the length of this rant, but that really really bothers me...I don't feel it was bad enough to warrant the rating in the first place, but at the very least they could have let me know why...

Time for me to go work on some fiction for a change...

((still fearing the poor rating for my personal views and airing out...))