07-27-01 @ 8:34 pm EDT

What is the point, really?

In the Club, everyone seems to be making plans on moving to another community. One that I feel I can't join, because I read the message board there and it was specifically because of users like myself (this site was created by another member of the site that went down) who tend to be wordy. They would like to impose a 500-word limit.

I know that I can't put a limit on what I write, what I need to say, so I won't try. Meaning, I see no point in joining the site.

I posted my worry that now that the site is gone for good, everyone would split up and go their separate ways. Would they at least keep active in the Club so we had a focal point, a place where ALL of us could go?

No one's bothered replying. People have been posting in there since I did, actively, but it's as if my message wasn't there.

Fine. Screw it. They'll all go their happy little way and start their new community. I'll stay behind in the empty Club that they're too busy to post in.

It's only when a community is gone that you realize just how much people REALLY cared. They're friendly enough to say hi, how are ya doin' when the community is there, but as soon as it's gone, they don't give a shit about you.

So much for that feeling of "community." Maybe it was all in my head after all. I think I was very naive to think the Internet could provide me with any sort of companionship or happiness. I don't get it in real life, so I thought this would suffice. Now it looks as if I've been proven wrong, how many times is this, several dozen times?

In the meantime one who says they want to write to me, they say they are busy busy busy yet again...I understand busy-ness, but what I can't understand is why they are currently logged into Yahoo! Messenger if they're so busy, why they have time to post but not write to me what they said they would...

People are just the same everywhere.

Why do I have to keep finding this out the hard way?

I'm seriously considering giving up "communities" altogether. What's the point. They're all the same, the people are friendly while the site is there but as soon as the site is gone or you're offsite, it's like you mean nothing at all.

Community is false. I think I'm probably better off being sheltered if the real world is anything like this crap.