09-25-01 @ 11:32 pm EDT

Cable went out. Looks like I won't be able to record my show tonight.

Right foot is healing, so I'm trying to hit my left foot.

I'd like to do a whole lot more than hit.

I tried once again to ask God, WHAT is the point of my being here at all? Everyone has someone. Even everyone I write about, even those who are worst off. I always fail, so WHY? Just give me one tiny little sign. Even in a dream. I don't care.

He didn't answer. God does not ever answer me either.

This proves to me even stronger there is no point.