02-04-02 @ 6:49 pm EST

I can't BELIEVE the evil little spawn!! He's EVIL, 100% pure EVIL!

I have a little blue squeak-gun, a New Year's-type thingie, that Dad gave me to bug him with. He's both afraid of it and yet mysteriously drawn to it. Dad told me to keep it away from him because he might chew it up and ruin it. So I put the gun in my room.

DAMN I'm glad my door has a lock. I just wish I'd remember to lock it more often.

This morning I heard a shuffling noise and looked out into the hallway to see him trotting happily down the hall, blue squeak-gun in mouth! Like he OWNED it!! I got up and went chasing after him. He trotted into the kitchen and then the dining room with it in his teeth, la la la, and dropped it on the floor. I immediately snatched it away and scolded him. I took it back to my room with him following all the way, meowing in protest. "That's MY gun! I found it fair and square! GIVE IT BACK!"

NO WAY, YOU LITTLE TURD WITH FEET!

I put it high on my bookshelf this time, AND locked my door. For a while he kept banging on it trying to get in, without success. Evil little spawn won't be getting that gun a second time!

WRONG! I forgot to lock my door after I got up. I heard a little shuffling noise and here he comes, BLUE SQUEAK-GUN IN MOUTH! How the *#S$*#*&@!!! did he FIND it way up there?!? I snatched it from him again, by now just about freaking out. "THIS IS NOT YOURS!!" I took it back to my room and hid it AND LOCKED THE DOOR! He's still walking around whining about it. "I found it again fair and square! It's MY gun!"

WHAT WAS HE IN A PAST LIFE, A PICKPOCKET?!? I named him after a saint who never took any money for his services. God *#$*&Y#@*#&@!!! Money is the only thing he HASN'T taken yet!!

The little evil SPAWN. How did he know where to find that gun? These stupid creatures are supposed to be colorblind, how did he see it and recognize it? How did he even know WHAT it was and that it was what he wanted? How did he see it way up there on my bookshelf!! WHY'S HE SO DAMN OBSESSED WITH IT ANYWAY?!

I'm keeping my eye on this evil little spawn. Who knows what he might try NEXT!