10-11-02 @ 6:10 am EDT

Every morning I have to lock Cosmas out on the porch because he behaves terribly; just yesterday he knocked over the lamp, then a big wooden carving of Ma's. It's a wonder he didn't get my VCR, but if he had, I would have killed him. He just acts out and I have no idea why; I've tried literally EVERYTHING short of beating him, and I'm not going to beat a cat. People who beat cats shouldn't HAVE cats. I feel bad enough about some of the other ways I've punished him, but enough of that; he always ends up locked out on the porch for several hours, to all night with interims in which I let him in and he commences knocking things over again, I scream and get mad, and out he goes again. Etc.

Every so often he leaves a little poo-gift out on the steps, whether out of protest or out of colon distress who knows, and I have to pick them up and toss them out. Well, yesterday was one such day, two little poo-gifts left out on the steps. I wrapped a plastic bag around my hand because we're too cheap to buy latex gloves and tried to pick them up but despite their solid appearance, they were GOOEY. UGH. I picked up the bigger one and tried to toss it out, but my aim was poor, and it ended up sticking to the doorcasing!! Like Velcro Poop! *ROFLMAO!* I had to step outside off the porch and pull this turd off the house and fling it aside. Then I repeated the gesture with the second one--I had more luck with that one and it didn't attach itself to the house--and went back inside and threw the bag away. Eeewwwww.

I thought about it, but I just couldn't bring myself to leave it there for any random visitor to stop by and see this big turd affixed to our house. That would just be rude. Though it might have been funny to see had a Jehovah's Witness or something stopped by and seen it there. Heh heh.

So now that's more than you ever wanted to know about my cat's digestive processes.

I want to go walking the tracks sometime and see the colors. I wanted to wait until Indian summer, but at this rate it looks like we'll never get one. Maybe if it's sunny enough I'll put on my pants and jacket and go walking anyway, though I'll probably catch a cold. Damn you, Peepaukawiss! You and Manabozho are supposed to be running around by now, dumbass!

(Long story with ties to Ojibwa mythology. I'll refrain. For now.)