10-16-02 @ 1:39 am EDT

Someone was supposed to be reviewing items in my port but for some reason stopped doing so maybe a week or so back. If there was ever an explanation I didn't see one; it could have gotten lost in the e-mail purge. But I don't remember one. :( Why did they stop reading? They never got to the items of mine that I REALLY wanted comments on (I had even pointed them out, too), so I'm rather disappointed. I've been keeping quiet hoping maybe they were just taking a break but I really have no idea. They're still active onsite. Maybe I really was the person who made them lose their resolve. I warned them ahead of time I would do that and they insisted no, but it looks like I did...I liked the comments I did get, very much so, but I really wish they had gotten to the items of mine that REALLY matter. They stopped just short of those ones, it seems. For some reason there were also a few that were skipped in the items they did look over, so I'm confused.

It seems every time I insist I'll bore somebody and they say no I won't, and I buy it, I just end up being proven right after all. It's gotten so that when I see review forums--"We'll review anything!"--I don't believe it anymore. I have ample proof! If something is in MY portfolio, chances are greatly reduced that it will be R&Red, even if it's a shorter, single-shot work.

*sigh*

Another thing that frustrates me recently is replies. People used to chew me out for not replying to the reviews I received, so I kept trying to resolve to do so. I still have difficulty, but I WOULD have replied to everyone who R&Red me in September...if the stupid e-mail glitch hadn't deleted 75% of it! So I know I missed a few and I can't be sure which ones. Those people I never got to say thank you to, though I meant to. I've taken to moving all of my incoming e-mail into a new folder just in case that happens again.

But lately when I review people, including ones who replied in the past...they don't seem to reply anymore. Am I being punished for being so silent in the past? Why did they choose now to clam up? When they're silent I can't help but wonder if my advice is annoying them. I just noticed that one of them has posted parts of a new story and I'm thinking of commenting on them, but the last two or three things of theirs I've commented on, they haven't replied. Are they bothered by me? I also R&Red a few items in an R&R forum, hoping for a return favor...so far, no bites. I guess I should have known better that in a forum where people are supposed to R&R each other's works, nobody would stop by mine!

So I'm not really sure what to think of any of this. I finally try to gain the courage to start replying, and then people stop replying to me. ONE of them that I can remember did reply, which was good...but the rest haven't yet. I'm hoping they're just busy with other things, including the person who'd been reviewing me, and that I'm just worrying too much yet again. But time's dragging on here and I doubt they'll return to my portfolio.

Well, I can't think of a way to end this without whining even more, so I guess I'll post it now, as if it matters. Sorry to be such a downer again tonight.