12-23-02 @ 8:07 pm EST

SeaLab 2021 (I may be spelling it oddly) is one of my favorite shows, though I usually don't get the chance to watch it because it's up against the repeat of Law & Order: SVU. USA's gotten stupid on their schedule lately though (they advertise L&O at 11, but in reality it starts AFTER 11, as late as 11:30 sometimes!) so I've managed to catch it the past two weeks.

Last week when it came on I bounced up and down excitedly. That show is always SO weird. Like the one time the captain got trapped under the vending machine and was stung by that scorpion, but then they became friends; and he ended up getting stuck in there again just as he was getting rescued. Or the one where Stormy and the doctor kept traveling through time to try to warn their past selves about a pending disaster, but their different selves kept multiplying, then began to mutate until they looked like Jabba the Hutt and little elves and such. I LOVED the episode where they had that French guy on the submarine!! "Thee tentacles of thee squid enveloped us like thee warm embrace of the woooooomb." "How many times in this episode is he going to say womb?!" "Oh, poooooop." *LMAO!!* That poor French guy.

Well anyway, I got all excited when last week's episode came on, though Ma wondered what was the appeal. I told her the show was always very weird...then sat down to watch...what was possibly the most BORING SeaLab in history. It had the new voices, but it was copied after the old episodes (I guess, since I've never seen SeaLab 2020), and was not funny at all! It was just a drama like an old Hanna-Barbera cartoon! I sat and watched it in extreme puzzlement and not a little disappointment. "They must have changed the format," I said to Ma in dismay. Then an idea struck me. "I hope that at the end of this episode the captain says it was all a dream or something!"

Ma grumbled, but I insisted that at the end there would probably be a big joke to make the whole thing funny. So despite how boring and disappointing it was, I waited until the end. And...SeaLab blew up. "O-kay," the captain mused aloud, and that was all. And I started to laugh.

Looks like I was right. Good old SeaLab, pulling a stunt like that--leaving the joke until the last minute. Typical. :P

Well, last night's was funny through and through again! The sociopathic red-headed guy (I'm bad with their names) got everybody addicted to some kind of seaweed drug (it had fugu fish poison in it, which was the "secret ingredient"), and they all went absolutely maniacal trying to get more of it. He escaped at the end and wondered if he'd be able to sell his drug to minors, leaving the rest of the crew trapped back at SeaLab. And...SeaLab blew up. *ROFLMAO!!* Great!

I wanted to share three lines the drugged-out characters said during the course of the show. I'm sure there were more, but these were the funniest ones that stuck with me.

The captain, ecstatic, on first being given the drug: "It's like a koala bear crapped a rainbow in my brain!"

The captain again, I think, going all Uri Geller after being given the drug: "Silence! I'm psychoflexing!" *mutters* "Rubber spoon rubber spoon rubber spoon rubber spoon rubber spoon rubber spoon..."

The Latino character voiced by Erik Estrada, while hanging from the concrete ceiling by his toes after being given the drug: "I have the energy of a bear that has the energy of TWO bears!"

*LMAOLMAOLMAO* I love that show...

I had a truly, truly awful dream...I must be anxious lately to be having such bad dreams. All kinds of corpses around me...in the dead of winter, and I was ready to flee, trying to avoid looking at them but they were everywhere I went...but I have to save that until later.

Things seem to have improved a bit...knock on wood...which unfortunately leaves me feeling ashamed of myself, as always. Why can't I be a less emotional person? I'm probably the most histrionic person I know. :( I tell myself to take things more calmly the next time, but I never seem to be able to. Why not?

I got what appears to be an apology from the webmaster of the journal site, but I'm so ashamed of myself that I don't want to open it. He did NOT owe me an apology; I didn't read the rules of the site clearly enough. The only wrong I think was committed on his end was the misleading comment on the site's main page, but even with that I still should have read the rules more carefully. And I still do feel like a sick person for writing that stuff, that even an ADULT site has to penalize me.

I wish I had the guts to e-mail him back and tell him he did not have to apologize, that *I* am the one who's still sorry for breaking the rule. I feel too stupid though. I'm too embarrassed to go back (that was why he apologized, for embarrassing me; I haven't read the text of the message, in which it might say something like, "But you still broke the rules and got what you deserved"--probably does, knowing my luck), so it's kind of a moot point. The Chronicles were why I went there in the first place so if I can't post them, I don't wish to bother them any further. People weren't reading them anyway. I must suck as a slash writer. I don't want to read the e-mail and possibly end up upset yet again.

My account at FFN is no longer blocked, so I uploaded the next part of the serial. I hope no more of my material is objectionable to them.

I got an e-mail from somebody I should have written to ages ago, and while I wish we could be a bit chattier with each other and not so formal, well, maybe that will happen later on, or not; some things aren't meant to be sometimes. Maybe I'm just not an interesting enough person to get chatty with. I'm always afraid of making a bad impression on her; why do I feel I have to walk on eggshells?

And I got another e-mail which may negate a couple of my earlier entries. At least I hope it does, because I was hurting a lot when I posted those. I can't say any more though.

I got Part 103 up to 26kb but got bored of writing it tonight. It's almost done anyway, and it's only Monday. I'll work on that some more later.

Dad wondered aloud, when I got kind of cranky as he read a letter about the baby, why I was so mean during the holidays. I told him that wasn't it; it was the baby. Of course he immediately assumed incorrectly: "You're jealous? You're not the baby anymore?" I had to explain (as I explained to Ma maybe a week ago--she had no response to give, as is typical) that that wasn't it; I was jealous of Eric because he's done everything that I didn't do, and I've done nothing. Silence ensued and Dad went to the kitchen to do something.

"You've walked around Mackinac Island," he said after a moment or two. "A few times."

?? Like this is something to be proud of? Anybody can walk around the island...even Ma. It's not a life accomplishment, like joining the Army or getting a job or getting married or having a baby, everything which Eric has done. I haven't even moved out of the HOUSE. "So?" I said. "That's not important. I've never ACCOMPLISHED anything. Eric's just given you a grandkid, which is the ONE thing he hadn't done yet to make you proud. Now he's done even that. The only thing I've ever done that Eric hasn't done is graduate college, and it was a lousy two years anyway."

Like community college means anything nowadays...which it doesn't. A two-year degree only SOUNDS impressive. You need a four-year degree just to reshelf books at the local library...

Dad insisted that a grandkid didn't mean very much to him at all, but who is he kidding? Grandkids mean EVERYTHING to grandparents. They carry on the line, and as I will not do anything to carry on the line, of course I'm a disappointment. He insisted that as long as everyone is healthy and happy and such, then he's happy...but I know it isn't true. I sit at home all day and leech up all the money, run us into debt, do nothing but run up bills by sitting online and eating food, and waste bandwidth and ink and paper on stories that nobody in the family cares to read and no publishers would ever care to publish. How on Earth can that make anyone happy? :(

Well, I hadn't meant to end this on a negative note, it just kind of went that way. Sorry. This'll be my only entry for today so maybe that will make up for it...have to go now.