01-05-03 @ 12:49 pm EST

I had to try it from some of my characters' POVs...you know me and my characters...don't look at me like that!!

Firstly, of course, comes DAMIEN! :D

Disorder: Rating

Paranoid: Low
Schizoid: Moderate
Schizotypal: Moderate
Antisocial: Low
Borderline: Low
Histrionic: Low
Narcissistic: Low
Avoidant: Low
Dependent: Low
Obsessive-Compulsive: Moderate

Wha--?? Okay--now I understand moderate OC for Dami, because he has a few obsessive and/or compulsive habits--how antsy he gets when people try to enter his room or use his stuff, for example, and his habits of regularly visiting Lilu's grave and not performing on her death-date. But SCHIZOID AND SCHIZOTYPAL? How did THAT happen? Aside from his PTSD and occasional impulsivity he's one of my most stable characters, at least mentally. GAH! I guess it must have been because whenever there was a question referring to how much he cared about praise and how others saw him, I marked him as not really caring. Because he doesn't. It isn't that he doesn't care about looking weird or bizarre or anything; he just doesn't need to seek praise or affirmation all the time. (Though he DOES love attention. Take a look at what he does for a living, why don't you!)

Nextly will be MAX KRISTEVA!

Disorder: Rating

Paranoid: Very High
Schizoid: Very High
Schizotypal: Moderate
Antisocial: Moderate
Borderline: Very High
Histrionic: Low
Narcissistic: Moderate
Avoidant: Moderate
Dependent: Moderate
Obsessive-Compulsive: High

Damn. All right, now before you start to worry about poor Max...I knew he was going to be severely messed up before I even took the test for him. He did, after all, go through six years of ritual sexual abuse when he was a child, and still has to face people like those responsible as a matter of course in his line of work. (He became a detective, to the dismay of his father--most likely TO dismay his father. As would be expected, he's excellent at working on abuse and cult crime cases.) And so most of these "personality disorders" above came about as a result of what he went through. His paranoid, "antisocial," borderline, avoidant, and obsessive-compulsive traits came about as a result of this abuse. I'm guessing the schizoid and schizotypal came about because of his difficulties trusting and interacting with others, and his unconcern about what others think of him; I don't really know where the "dependent" came from, unless it's his fear of separation from loved ones (more likely his fear of an inability to protect them from harm), but the "narcissism" is simply his way of looking out for himself while not trusting others. He's not vain; he just thinks HE can do a better job than anyone else, when it comes to what he's supposed to be doing. He can't trust anyone else to do his work for him.

Anyway I was wondering if he'd show up high as borderline, looks like I was right...he doesn't "deliberately" injure himself, as the test asks, unless he's tranced out (on one occasion when he zones out he jams a knife through his hand--OUCH), but he DOES engage in reckless behavior without any concern for the consequences. (In Magic City he jumps off a bridge to rescue somebody from icy water without even thinking of how HE might have to be rescued! He also smashes his OTHER hand into a mirror to make a point; didn't I just tell you this guy was messed up? All of this goes without mentioning his past suicide attempt, or how he shoved a guy's head in a toilet after that guy just PUSHED him...)

I want to also make note of an odd borderline tendency I've read about before, how "empathic" and "psychic" borderlines are often described to be. This is thought to be because of their own emotions; they can "read" others like open books, and can use this to manipulate them, if they wish. And yes, this is Kristeva, to a T (except he doesn't like to manipulate people).

Well, nextly I want to do WILL, who I consider a scumbag but wish to understand better...somehow I feel he'll come up a strong borderline, also.

I couldn't be sure on the last question--whether Will's parents treated him coldly or not--as I don't know his past yet. I hate him so much I haven't bothered developing his character, beyond him being Stan Brooks's abusive ex-boyfriend.

Disorder: Rating

Paranoid: Very High
Schizoid: High
Schizotypal: Low
Antisocial: High
Borderline: Moderate
Histrionic: Very High
Narcissistic: Very High
Avoidant: Low
Dependent: Moderate
Obsessive-Compulsive: Low

INTERESTING! Looks like I was wrong on the borderline issue, though from what I know of him and what (admittedly) little I've read about it, Will does seem to be borderline to me; he's very jealous and paranoid of what others think of him, alternates very rapidly between fawning attention and harsh criticism and and downright brutality, seeks constant reassurance, and is very manipulative. (I should say LOW-FUNCTIONING borderline, at least in private. Even the levelheaded Brooks thought he was a catch until he got to know him personally...) I'm NOT surprised, however, by the "paranoid," "antisocial," and "narcissistic" results, and "histrionic" doesn't surprise me very much either. In Will's world, only Will can be right, and if anyone else says otherwise, they've got something against him. If somebody doesn't do something the way HE wants it done, WHEN he wants it done, he can either resort to endless whining or even physical violence. (As poor Brooks knows by now.) Yep, I STILL very much loathe this character, and even though these results are what I expected, I still don't understand his motives. I guess I never will. Shucks.

Hmm...those were the three I was most interested in doing. Who else shall I do now? Hmmmmm...how about...ummmm...well...

Well, let's try Inspector Dobermann, then. He's a lovely sociopathic creature. Riding crop and all. o_O

As with Will, I have no idea how Dobey's parents treated him growing up; but I get the feeling he would have been a coddled only child, so unlike for Will, I'll say they weren't distant at all.

Disorder: Rating

Paranoid: High
Schizoid: High
Schizotypal: Low
Antisocial: High
Borderline: Low
Histrionic: Moderate
Narcissistic: High
Avoidant: Low
Dependent: Low
Obsessive-Compulsive: Moderate

Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! No big surprises here. Dobey IS paranoid, but not in the fearful manner; and perhaps his paranoia isn't completely unfounded. (For obvious reasons; would you trust the people who saw you shoot one of your own men dead just because he woke you up too early?) "Antisocial" and "narcissistic" are expected here; I think "histrionic" might be a miss though, as he's anything but. (The questions about being prone to anger were not very suited to how Dobey handles things; he DOES get angry very easily, but he doesn't SHOW it. At least, not emotionally; he kept a completely blank face for example when shooting that guy who woke him up too early.) Moderate OC I understand as he's somewhat of a perfectionist in how he does things, and doesn't trust anyone else to do them any better; he also maintains an immaculate appearance, though he doesn't do it for praise. I think "schizoid" is another misfire, if only because he's so confident of himself that he doesn't much care how others see him, and he thinks of himself most highly so he doesn't care for the company of others. However, he DOES fit the "emotionless" part of that description. It's not because he really IS emotionless, or because he doesn't know how to show emotion; it's because he sees emotions as weak. That again sounds like narcissism to me.

Well, I'd like to also do Ratdog sometime, but I get the weird feeling he'd end up a lot like Dobey, only not to such an extreme. And I'm getting bored and this entry is getting long, so tar.