01-10-03 @ 12:58 pm EST

I was in a very pissy mood yesterday morning. I worked for twenty minutes on Part 60 of the Ameni Chronicles and lost it all when I accidentally closed it without saving. I had opened up another Works file and clicked around in that and thought that I was closing just THAT rather than the entire program; it did bring up a do-you-want-to-save-this message, but I thought it was referring to the second file, as it brings up save messages even when I just click around in things. At least, it USUALLY does. If it had followed its pattern yesterday morning, I would still have those twenty minutes of writing, because it would have prompted me TWICE to save. Nope. The stupid s**t program decided to choose THEN to show only one message, and I lost it all.

So I was in a very pissy bad mood. That twenty wasted minutes I will have to make up after I log off today. I think I was actually angrier that I had lost it all right before I was about to save it and log off for the day to go to bed, rather than because I had lost my writing. What a waste of time.

This journal continues getting hits even when I don't post things in it. Interesting. I haven't posted because I feel guilty about neglecting to reply to e-mails, very generous e-mails, so that's why you've seen no entries. I'll get to you, it's just that at the moment I'm feeling guilty about not getting to you. I wish I weren't messed up.

I'm wondering what to do about my erotica. (I HATE using that word in a PG-13 journal. UGH.) I counted it and excluding the Chronicles there are 161 pieces of it, including the nonconsensual ones. Hm; I'd thought there was more. There will be in the future; that's also including unfinished pieces. I start things and don't finish them when I think of a more interesting pairing...anyway...I was wondering if I should upload them all as they are, separately (e. g., Devetko/Brooks 1, Devetko/Brooks 2, Devetko/Brooks 3...I can't help it, I LIKE those two), or if I should save port space by combining all related parts into single items (Devetko/Brooks parts 1-8 and anything after). And add as new parts come along. That would make for very, very long items for the people I like to write about, but nobody's been R&Ring it lately anyway (the latest one still has no comments, but plenty of reads; must be nonmembers), so who would care. As it stands, combining the items would save me 61 items.

As they are: 161 pieces
Combined: 100 pieces

I have like 474 items so far though, so even if I didn't combine them, I'd still have plenty of space left...FOR NOW. That's what's bothering me. I bet if I posted them as is we'd get ANOTHER item limit restriction put on us. But then again...I'm worried that if I post them combined, we'll get an ITEM LENGTH restriction instead, the way nonupgradeds are supposed to have items of only 50kb or less. So I'm confused. Not sure what I should do. There are only like 16 "E" items in my port at present, and I do have many more, whether anyone wants to see them or not. I would ask for thoughts but I do that too much.

Oh, and I'm also proofreading the last two parts, 58 and 59. 58 is about 80kb long, and only a FRACTION of that is the nitty-gritty. Same with 59, which is like 75kb or so. I would go through and rewrite all the earlier chapters for plot if I had the patience and time. I plan to someday. I HAVE to burden it down with plot now, though, because the story makes no sense without it. Um, I'm talking about the Chronicles here; I just realized I didn't clarify that. Anyway, my proofreading skills are shot to hell lately, and it's so awful to try to read it. It's taken me two days and I'm only about halfway through. I read OTHER people's items so much faster. Why can't I proofread my stuff anymore?

I'm cold. It's cold in here.

So I'm currently miffed, guilty, confused, and frustrated. And cold.

I have to go write the missing twenty minutes of Part 60 now.