01-12-03 @ 7:41 am EST

All right...now lest somebody misunderstand, I do pity this guy for the debt he supposedly has (I say "supposedly" in case this entire thing is a sham), as I know how awful debt can be. But I found this URL posted in the GD forum, where OFFSITE URLS ARE NOT ALLOWED. (Except for that recent very strange spate of offsite URL posting and references to death and killing and warfare and such that, if *I* had posted them there, would not have been allowed...interesting double standard.) Anyway, when I clicked on the link, it took me to a Cannot Find Server. Yet when I typed it in at Google it took me through. Perhaps they've found a way to block offsite URLs in GD?...probably not. Let me get to my point.

This site REALLY smells hinky to me. Let's look at it from a writer's viewpoint. Here's the URL so you can see for yourself; if it doesn't work, just type it in at Google; Google will tell you it has never heard of it, but will also give you a working link. If this site doesn't get deleted or something in the meantime. :P BTW, I mean no offense to this poet by posting this, not that he'll even see this, but I feel I have some valid points to make.

Here we go...

http://www.savethepoet.com/

Now let's break it down sentence by sentence, shall we?

Allow me to introduce myself. I am Stiver. I am a poet, and also a pretty cool guy (not that poets are remotely uncool). Anyway, I recently graduated from Penn State University with a poetry degree.

Hi Stiver! In the way offchance you see this, I really do mean no offense, 'kay? I'm not saying you're not cool, and there's nothing patently wrong with graduating from Penn State with a poetry degree.

Me, Gram, and my son, Dylan-Thomas

Aww. Cute baby. Your gram makes me think of my own grandma.

Okay...now here's where it begins to bug me.

It's not that I really had to go to college to be a writer because that's something that you're born with.

True, very true.

However, it's quite important not to skip over the stepping stones of the wonderful past poets.

Um...okay, whatever. I'll take your word for it, I guess. o_o But how many of the wonderful past poets did NOT go to college...? Does this mean they were not wonderful?

THUS, I decided to go $27, 480 into student loan debt for the sake of art.

DAMN! That's a lot of money...all I got was a $3000 scholarship to community college, and that's all it took to get an Associate of the Arts degree. Not that it means a thing, but...how much is a poetry degree worth nowadays? When you need a bachelor's degree just to shelve books?

At least you're dedicated to art, which is good...

Believe me, I regret nothing.

That's good too.

However, since I spend most of my week working, I never have time to write. Therefore, I must wait ten years (that's when my student loans will be paid off and I can stop working like a slave), before I will even have the time or energy to write. I believe they call this a catch-22.

Um...okay. This is the part where it REALLY begins to bug me. For starters...if you're a writer, you write. End of story. You do not wait for the right moment (unless you really have to get something else done first, I admit). You do not wait until time magically appears, because it won't. If you want to be a writer (or a poet), you MAKE the time to write. If you cannot MAKE that time, don't bother waiting the ten years you say is necessary for you to write again. Because it won't matter. By then you won't be a writer anymore. If you don't care enough to make the time, if you want to just toss your art away for ten years, then you don't care enough about your craft.

A true writer CANNOT KEEP AWAY from their art for ten years! Good luck getting them to stay away from it for TEN DAYS, even. Even if they are blocked, they will still be obsessing over it, and trying, trying again until it comes to them.

I admit that there ARE times when other duties, and the dreaded writer's block, will force one to stop and take a break, but ten years? Waiting to find time after TEN YEARS just because you have to work off a loan? If you're letting that keep you from what you spent all that money pursuing in the first place...if you're willing to WORK that hard for all that money, but not to do what you needed that money to do...then just forget it. You don't care about writing.

I'm sorry if that sounds harsh...but it's true. Poems take much work, more work to me than prose does, but most are relatively short. You are saying that you HONESTLY do not have ONE SPARE MOMENT to write a poem? And you can safely predict that you will NEVER have a spare moment in the next TEN YEARS? I don't believe it...not even Nostradamus could see that clearly into the future, and he found the time to write ALL KINDS of poems...

Keep reading, please.

So, here's the plan. Because I know that all of you have a soft spot for poetry (to be sure, it's the window to the soul), I need a little help to save my poetry.

Well, I prefer prose to poetry, since poetry is such a subjective thing...I'll keep reading though. Who knows, I've never even seen your poetry yet, so who am I to judge?

Um, though...isn't it the EYES that are the window to the soul...?

With your help and my help, we can do this. If 27, 480 could just donate $1 towards the repayment of my student loans, then I will have more time to write!

Ahaa...the truth comes out. Now I am VERY suspicious...sorry, Stiver. But you need MONEY in order to be able to write? I never trust websites where private individuals ask for money, unless it's a sales site with CONCRETE goods that you can hold in your hands--books, electronics, and sometimes not even those. I prefer to buy my stuff off of Amazon or eBay...I'll humor you though, and keep reading.

Oh, also, Stiver, please do not put a space after the comma in the number. I was truly confused when I first read how much it cost you for that loan; I thought it was $27, plus 480...somethings. I didn't know what the 480 was, I confess. I thought maybe you paid $27 480 times. (Is that cheaper?) Just type out 27,480 to avoid confusion.

I am very serious about this, and I would give anything to have more time to write.

No, I honestly don't think you would...you aren't trying to MAKE the time to write, are you? Seriously, in that ten years you say it will take you to pay off this debt, there MUST be a few stray moments in there when you can jot down a few lines. You spent that time building this website...could you not have written a poem in the time it took to register that domain name, pay the money, find a server, write the text for the site, take the pictures, upload everything, set it up, and post it to the Web?

In fact, periodically you will see auction links on this page for all of the things that I own. So, if you are looking for a copy of "The Catcher in the Rye", a Cat Steven's album (vinyl), or the ice scraper from my car, please keep your eyes peeled.

Er...no, I'm not really looking for any of those particular items, sorry. There's just something about owning a used Squeegee that makes me cringe... o_O

Also! It's Cat Stevens' or Cat Stevens's...agh!! His name is not Cat Steven!

AND, the coolest part is this: One of these days, I will be a famous poet.

How can you say that for sure? It is VERY difficult to become a famous poet nowadays, much less a moderately well-known one...I wouldn't count my chickens just yet, Stiver.

So, here's your chance to get an early work. For anybody donating $10.50 (the $.50 is for the postage) or more and sending me a request, I will write and sign an original poem for you. I hope you all make me write a lot of poetry--after all this whole thing is the means to that end.

WAIT A MINUTE! Now all my potential faith in you is rapidly lost. YOU JUST NEGATED YOUR OWN ARGUMENT!

You claim you don't have the time to write poetry since you have to work to pay off a loan.

You need money to pay off the loan, so you propose to write poetry to pay it off.

But how can you find the time to write that poetry if you DON'T HAVE THE TIME TO WRITE IT??

So let me get this straight: You don't have ANY time to write the poetry you claim to love, when you're writing it for free, but when somebody PAYS you, you suddenly have the time to write? LOTS of time? (You do say you hope you get lots of requests, and according to your own argument, it takes lots of time to write poetry, because you can't seem to find a few stray moments in the next TEN YEARS to do it!)

BAM, there goes your whole "I'm a poor poet with no time to write" story...care to come up with something else?

I will keep you posted, weekly, on the progress of my endeavor. Please feel free to email me anytime: gjstiver@yahoo.com . Send me a cool letter as to why saving art is important to you, and you will most likely see it posted on here somewhere.

I'm trying hard to not be too harsh here, yet failing miserably, Stiver...along with the time you spent building this site, and posting your auction notices, couldn't you better spend this time you would use updating people of your endeavor...just writing that poetry, instead? I know from experience how time consuming it can be just to update websites...I could spend that time writing my stories. Or longish journal entries. You can't spend that time writing poems? How much DO you care about your art, really?

Also, I will gladly post any good poetry that I receive from any of you.

Why? That's time you could spend writing, too. What is your definition of "good poetry," BTW?

If you have a website, make a donation to the cause and I will put a link to your site on here somewhere.

Aha...yet again with the donations. It seems you really aren't that inclined to write anything unless you're getting money for it. That isn't writing out of love for the art...it's called writing for money. People who truly DO love to write, write first, and hope for the money to come secondarily. They don't decide not to write unless they get paid. Maybe you should just come right out and admit it that you don't like to write unless it's lucrative. And since it's next to impossible to get poetry published without spending an arm and a leg nowadays (which you already spent on that loan), you are getting rid of the middle man (publishers) and trying to sell your poems straight to the potential customers...only instead of admitting that, you claim to just be seeking time to write. I don't believe it, sorry...

Corporate Sponsors are welcome, too, unless your company is a disgrace to human kind (that will go up for debate on the forum page if there is any question.)

Well at least you have some morals. I think.

To graciously make a donation from a credit or debit card using PayPal, please forward your donation to email: geralds@stingcom.com . Otherwise, donations can be sent to:

Poet Stiver
P.O. Box 977
Lebanon, PA 17042

No thanks...

Thank you all for your generosity in helping to free up valuable time to write.

Like I said already, it's awfully convenient that you can find the time to write poems for money, but if there's no money involved, you just can't find the time.

--Stiver

Good luck to you, sir. I believe you will need it.

...

How far along IS poor Stiver, anyway? Let's see...

Since I just got up and running, this week is looking a bit thin. On my end, I received $100 from Gram for graduation, and $60 total from three uncles, $1 from a guy named Ed, and one Sacajeweeya dollar from another guy named Mark. Thus, I am $162 on my way to being free of student loan debt.

What a nice Gram! Be sure to be thoughtful to her. And your uncles. And...Ed. And Mark, though I thought you should know, the poor lady's name is Sacajawea or Sacagawea...oy.

I warn you, don't visit his forum! It's a popup and popunder hell over there...and it has only four posts anyway, two of them his, one of them from the person (a separate identity?) who posted this link on Writing.com in the first place. Agh. And that person hasn't even posted one item to Writing.com yet. I HATE people who Spam and go, without contributing one teeny bit to the community. Even IF the GD forum allowed Spam.

Hm, I just noticed that...one of his posts IS A NEW POEM! I thought he didn't have TIME to write? Hm. Well, the poem is this...all copyright goes to the original author; I'm not sure if I'm abiding by the fair use agreement, but I hope I am. The fair use agreement as quoted on another website is:

Fair Use is a defense to a copyright infringement claim in the USA. The concept is set forth in Section 107 of the Copyright Act:

"Notwithstanding the provisions of sections 106 and 106A, the fair use of a copyrighted work, including such use by reproduction in copies or phonorecords or by any other means specified by that section, for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching (including multiple copies for classroom use), scholarship, or research, is not an infringement of copyright. In determining whether the use made of a work in any particular case is a fair use the factors to be considered shall include-

(1) the purpose and character of the use, including whether such use is of a commercial nature or is for nonprofit educational purposes;
(2) the nature of the copyrighted work;
(3) the amount and substantiality of the portion used in relation to the copyrighted work as a whole; and
(4) the effect of the use upon the potential market for or value of the copyrighted work.

The fact that a work is unpublished shall not itself bar a finding of fair use if such finding is made upon consideration of all the above factors."

As I am only commenting/critiquing here, I hope it applies...just thought I should try to cover myself. Anyway, the poem is this:

What You Say

Your rhetoric is the dildo to my soul--

that tongue-slash.rash-roaring.fly-gliding.
floor-flipping.skinny-dipping.gossip-mongering.lip-flippy.
spin-my-head-in-a-bottle.mai-thai.
do-I-dare-eat-spaghetti-in-this-dress talk
that you so elegantly slip into my coffee on
cold mornings with a
spoonful of sugar and a lip-hug,
ratchets me to the top--clickety-clink--
of that wooden coaster you created with
popsicle sticks and vodka
leftover from the coldwar--

Your coy establishment is the
bay-of-pigs to my soul.

--Stiver
1/06/03

o_O;;; Ahhmmmmm...ooookay. *cough* Keep working on overcoming that loan...

(BTW, isn't "popsicle" a trademark that should be capitalized...?)

Moving on...three of the poems on his poetry page are copyright 2003...we're not yet in even the second half of the first month of 2003, so again, how did he find the time to write them? According to his progress report, only two people have donated a dollar each, and even if those were poetry requests (which are TEN dollars), that still doesn't equal four new poems in 2003...

Looking at the pictures page...what on Earth does playing the construction worker from the Village People in a YMCA dance have to do with poetry?? On a site like this, I think one should remain FOCUSED on the purpose. Even if I agreed with the purpose, which I don't. I really don't care to see pictures of the starving poet dressed up like a Village Person doing the YMCA dance, thank you...

I feel sorry for him again looking at his auction page...only three bids on all his stuff, one of $1, the other two of fifty cents...ugh. Poor luck there, guy. And he admits here that he can't part with his copy of Catcher In The Rye, after all. Maybe he'd have better luck on eBay? Worth a shot, at least.

Well, there is more I could comment on here...but I think I made my point. While I GUESS I have to score him points for a capitalistic spirit, I still do not believe he is as dedicated to his craft as he claims. He can rack up a debt pursuing the dream of poetry, but he can't do it for free...whatever. If it were merely a matter of him not being able or willing to make the time to write, that would be one thing. But somehow magically finding the time to write...when offered money? Mm-hm...as I said already, that is profit, not art.

I think someone just spent too much on a degree that is pretty much worthless nowadays, and is trying to find a quick way to pay off the debt. Maybe he's doing what he likes to do most to pay it off...but that's no excuse for the story he's telling.

I spent way too long on this entry again...tar.