01-17-03 @ 7:55 am EST

I haven't been keeping up on my newsletters lately so I went checking through them and deleting them...except for one, which had an interesting article that I wanted to share here. This is from the Drama Newsletter of 12/18/02, article written by {user:bowling_shoe}.

The most important book in my collection--and I’ve got quite a few--is undeniably my journal. Many times I wonder if some writers are afraid to tap into the power of a personal journal for fear of being too honest to themselves, or for all those “Oh what a sissy thing to do” prejudices.

Journaling is a big piece of how writers translate real-life traumas and dramas into words, kind of like writing dramatic fiction. The instant advantage to writing a journal is that when you write in your journal you are writing what you feel, and what you experience, and writing what you know, cliché or not, IS one of the best ways to develop your ideas.

“Keeping a diary” has a tainted image: it brings to mind dorky preteen girl movies and pink notepaper, but that doesn’t have to be the case at all. In fact, with the advent of online journals and the anonymity of the internet, many writers feel liberated enough to express their own feelings in a journal format.

Whether you’re just starting your journal, or have always wanted to do a journal but never took the time to or were afraid of it, or even if you’ve been journaling since the first day you could hold a pencil, there are a few steps to the process that will enhance your journaling experience. The first set of steps will be detailed in this issue, and the next set will be published in my next issue as editor, and will give tips on creative writing out of journaling experiences.

While many journaliers [sic] I know here keep a hard copy journal as well as a digital journal, I am going to highlight the use of the journal here onsite. I am going to assume that you know how to use the steps in creating an item in order to make a Journal Item. If you have any problems, ask me, or ask someone else who might know.

Okay, so now that you have a journal, here are a few helpful hints to keep those creative juices going and to keep you on task when you write in your journal.

First and foremost, be honest. It doesn’t matter who is reading, whether it be the entire website or an audience of one, you should still have the nerve to tell the truth. Don’t totally gloss over a situation that deserves more depth and description--you may have to omit names or something like that--because a month from now, you might not remember what happened, so record your feelings as they are.

Secondly, don’t force yourself to write in your journal. Forcing yourself to write turns a “creative outlet for your emotions” into an “assignment.” But, on the other hand, don’t neglect your journal as an important tool on those days when you just need to say something.

Thirdly, try, if you can, to balance out the times that you choose to write in your journal. Don’t just write about the times that are miserable, because rereading it often times just leads to feeling miserable again, and don’t just write about the happy times, because that limits your range of emotion. Try to be as open to writing as possible.

Some other tips here:

Don’t correct yourself as you go along. Write straight through, and leave the typos and bad grammar. Why? Because it’s a journal, not a novel, not anything but an emotional valve, and there are some things in life that don’t need polished [sic], they just need said [sic]. So say them and don’t worry about English 101. (Note: as some of you know, I can be a hardliner for fundamental English, but I don’t grade journals on the same scale because writing a journal entails a lot of different writing skills than [sic] other formats.)

When you don't know what to write about, try simply telling about another incident in your life that you haven't covered in your journal. The narrative experience of this type of journal entry can be very rewarding, if you let your emotions and words flow.

Remember too that even if you choose to use the Writing.Com journal format to make your journal “open” to other users, you have the ability to dictate who can see specific entries simply by selecting the viewing limitations of each individual entry.

Hope at least a few of these suggestions help you take care of your journal and allow you some freedom in your creativity!

Write on!

{user:bowling_shoe}

ellz

And now I shall comment.

The instant advantage to writing a journal is that when you write in your journal you are writing what you feel, and what you experience, and writing what you know, cliché or not, IS one of the best ways to develop your ideas.

I wouldn't know about writing here in Skew helping me with any of my writing skills. Honestly, I had most of my writing skills long before even thinking of Skew. But who knows, perhaps it has taught me how to better put things in words when I'm feeling emotional. Because yes, I write in here of what I feel and what I experience, and what I know. If I were to write of happy things all the time, I would be writing of that which I do not know...and I'd be breaking one of the "rules" set below, as well.

“Keeping a diary” has a tainted image: it brings to mind dorky preteen girl movies and pink notepaper, but that doesn’t have to be the case at all. In fact, with the advent of online journals and the anonymity of the internet, many writers feel liberated enough to express their own feelings in a journal format.

I really hope that the people who have complained about my journal will actually sit and take the time to read this entry. The very cliche of the "diary" is why I prefer using the term "journal." I believe I've said it before, but in case it was missed, I have never kept a long-term journal before I started Skew. When I started Skew, I never thought it would go on very long at all; I figured I'd just forget about it along the way. Probably the longest and the closest I ever came to keeping a journal before this was a ten-day vacation I took in Texas, during which I kept a "log" of my experiences...and I did that only to make up for missed work for my history class. I was honest in that log, but I did not get indepth into how I often feel, and it covered only those ten days.

Skew has gone on for over two years now and I don't want to quit it. Every time someone reads one entry and tells me to shut up or quit writing in here, however, it discourages me a little bit more, because I feel like they missed the entire point of this journal, and I really do feel they judged my entire character based on a few thousand words. Don't we all complain now and then? When you have nobody in your real life to complain to, at least without getting into a screaming fight, what's the harm in complaining in a journal? When has whining on the webpage hurt anyone at all? And honestly, I ask it yet again, why are these people so concerned about me only when I'm grousing, but never when I really do need help or when I'm happy?

Of course this journal will never even begin to encompass the good times I have...because I'm too busy living those good times, rather than writing about them all in here. I never made a secret of the fact that this journal did start out with the intent of being a complaints-only journal. Its short description, in fact, has not changed since the day I created it. That description is one of the very first things a new reader sees, so I'm not sure how Skew's purpose seems to be missed so often lately. When reading that, you MUST know what you're going to get.

I like to think that Skew has evolved since then...but the people who stop by to read only one negative entry, and any negative replies there may be to that entry, are sadly missing the rest. I really do wish they could see there is more to me than that. The same Tehuti who spends entry after entry in here complaining about her family and her lack of a life and the people who complain about her journal is the same Tehuti who still churns out a chapter a week of her fantasy serial, which just reached 360,000 words/106 parts and hit its second birthday, and who has four completed novels, numerous short stories and novellas, and other various items sitting in this very portfolio alongside Skew...are those negative readers at all interested in THAT side of me, by the way?

I know I've veered off course here, but I don't know, sometimes the stupid side of me hopes that the people who seem to dislike me can listen to my reasons for writing in here the way I do. I guess I'm an idealist. I hate it when people don't like me, and even more, when they don't want to see the other side of me. It's often obscured, but it's there. The other folders in this port attest to that. I'm confused why those readers just don't care.

To put it more shortly, I never intended Skew to be a happy, friendly, literary masterpiece. In fact, you can see that from the first few entries. I intended it to be a place where I could safely vent because there is nobody in real life who likes to listen to that. (And if I may be snarky for a moment, but truthful, the negative people never offer to listen...not that I would even WANT to try talking to them!) Even if things anger me, and responses to my entries anger me further, and even through all the pain and hurt and frustration this journal has caused me and will likely continue to cause me...the reason I still write in here despite all that is because I feel it helps. Go ahead and call me names all you want, and I know some of you are. When you can't afford a therapist, sometimes a journal is the next-best thing. A journal will never judge me based on one of my entries, this I know.

First and foremost, be honest. It doesn’t matter who is reading, whether it be the entire website or an audience of one, you should still have the nerve to tell the truth. Don’t totally gloss over a situation that deserves more depth and description--you may have to omit names or something like that--because a month from now, you might not remember what happened, so record your feelings as they are.

There are times, and I have even admitted this, that I did not tell everything--for example, back when I was being harassed, I did not post entire e-mails, nor speak much of the "positive" times, because what I was writing about was the negative part. Sometimes, I just don't feel safe sharing certain information pertaining to other users, which is why I don't use names often when I'm talking about people who have upset me. Sometimes, something just ashames me and I would rather not write about it at all. But I have never once lied in this journal, to my knowledge. Why would I want to? There are really days I feel like I'm the only one seeing any of this, and when you start lying to yourself, then that's just scary.

I find that when I myself go looking at journals more than once...it is never at those permanently happy, permanently "God will solve all my problems if I believe in Him," permanently flowery and literary journals. Those strike a false chord with me, and even if they ARE true, I can't empathize. I like a journal I can empathize with. Which means that the writer COMPLAINS. They complain, whine, grouse, gripe, whatever you want to call it, whether with or without reason (and in our own minds, we ALWAYS have a reason to complain, no matter how stupid or pointless it may seem to some others). Yes, they do have happy entries in there...but the happy entries seem even more authentic because the writer was not afraid to share their grief and anger, also. A truly happy entry loses all its meaning if that's all there is to a journal. Likewise, a journal that is nothing BUT complaints is just annoying. (I know of such a journal, and yes I read it and it's annoying...but no, I never go and tell that writer how to live their life. If they want to complain in there, all the time, then that's their right. Me telling them otherwise will NOT make them stop. Who knows? Maybe once they get offline, they go and have some fun that they just don't have the time to write about.) A mix is needed...whether it's 90% positive and 10% negative, or vice-versa, or 50/50, I don't really care, just as long as I feel it's honest, and if the writer's emotions strike a chord with my own.

And while to an extent I believe writers of online journals DO write for others (why else make the journals public?), for the most part, they write for themselves. Because that's what a journal is for. That's why, even through the growing discouragement, I will still complain in here when I feel the need to. Because that's me being honest with myself. I could try to humor the naysayers and just not post when I'm upset, or post something happy instead...but that would make my journal false, and I don't think the few people who DO like it the way it is would enjoy that much. Would you?

Secondly, don’t force yourself to write in your journal. Forcing yourself to write turns a “creative outlet for your emotions” into an “assignment.” But, on the other hand, don’t neglect your journal as an important tool on those days when you just need to say something.

Sometimes when I feel like writing, desperately feel like writing, I do try to force myself to write in here, and if you pop in here regularly you've probably recognized those entries. They were a bit forced, and I usually don't follow up on them. I don't do this often, because when a journal entry doesn't want to come, a journal entry doesn't want to come. It's best to just say you have nothing to say, and to back off. Until one does come. Sometimes that takes days.

Unfortunately, I DO neglect my journal from time to time. You probably haven't noticed this quite as much. But on those periods where I stay away from posting for three, four days or so, I'm cowering away from the public. I owe people e-mails very badly and the guilt makes me refuse to post in here, because when they see an entry, I KNOW they will be wondering why I did not write to them instead. Because that's how I feel when it happens to me. I hope those people understand. I don't neglect my journal for just anyone, especially with how often I like posting in here...and I know I would be better off working on an e-mail right now.

Thirdly, try, if you can, to balance out the times that you choose to write in your journal. Don’t just write about the times that are miserable, because rereading it often times just leads to feeling miserable again, and don’t just write about the happy times, because that limits your range of emotion. Try to be as open to writing as possible.

Believe it or not, I actually do try to do this. I know that the negative people will not believe me, because I can tell that they read only a few nonrepresentative entries. There ARE almost 900 of them in this thing, and I guess it can get daunting looking for a happy one. (When often I have instead happy-mixed-with-negative entries.) Perhaps they did not have the time to read more, or they got fed up after a few negative ones in a row. But there are happier ones...maybe they are just too boring for negative people to want to read. I don't know their reasoning, even though I've asked over and over.

However, if there does seem to be a preponderance (sic?) of negative entries, which I do believe there is...it is again because of the original purpose of Skew, given in the short description. To me, the happy entries are a bonus, a lucky addition when I'm feeling like it. Skew's main purpose first and foremost is still to release and vent my emotions, and as I feel depressed and lonely and angry much of the time, then of course that will be predominantly reflected here. It may be the larger part of my person...but it is not the whole of me. I'm sad that there are at least a few people who refuse to see that. I notice that I tend to get a lot more reads on my negative entries than on my positive ones, and as I've said before, the only people who respond to my positive ones are the ones who like this journal in its totality, NOT the ones who stop by to complain about one negative entry. Those latter people never seem to want to come back unless it's to read more of the negative stuff. (And forget about them ever perusing my fiction. Honestly...I don't think I'd want them to, lest one of my characters feels too "negative" for their tastes!) And even though I questioned this again in my next-to-last entry, they still have refused to answer me.

Maybe they don't even know why.

Don’t correct yourself as you go along. Write straight through, and leave the typos and bad grammar. Why? Because it’s a journal, not a novel, not anything but an emotional valve, and there are some things in life that don’t need polished, they just need said. So say them and don’t worry about English 101.

Unfortunately, being the way I am, I refuse to obey this rule. :) The only reason I let the occasional typo/misspelling pass is because I don't want to edit and obliterate the original posting date of the entries here. If I do catch a typo too late, I'll report it in a later entry...I just need my entries to look as good as they possibly can, because I am of the mind that if you don't care about the way your writing looks to others, then you don't care about your writing, period. However, I don't grade journals based on spelling and language either, unless it makes them unintelligible or ignorant. (And that is very rare; I can't even think of a time that's happened.) Because I know that what holds for me does not hold for everyone else; journals ARE personal things, and while I may still feel the need to write perfectly (or close to it) in my journal, I know that not everybody else does. What can I say? If I were to let sloppy writing pass in here, I would not be being myself and I would not be being honest. And isn't that what journals are about? Why change my personality in here?

When you don't know what to write about, try simply telling about another incident in your life that you haven't covered in your journal. The narrative experience of this type of journal entry can be very rewarding, if you let your emotions and words flow.

I do plan on posting that Camp Daggett entry sometime. :)

Remember too that even if you choose to use the Writing.Com journal format to make your journal “open” to other users, you have the ability to dictate who can see specific entries simply by selecting the viewing limitations of each individual entry.

I choose not to do this, at least not yet, though with the pair of black cases who have recently complained to me, I'm often tempted. (And forgive me...but one of them, back when they did have a journal, had an awful lot of negative entries in it toward the end. I didn't comment on that then. Didn't bring it up when e-mailing them to respond to their "comment," either.) I know however that poor comments don't necessarily come with particular suit colors...and besides, I'm too much of an attention-needer to restrict myself any more than I already am. It was another member here who made me restrict Skew as it is in the first place. (Skew, BTW, today lost four of its good ratings, and none of the at least three bad ones that came from different accounts of this person. Two of those accounts are still valid in my authors section...I fail to understand why, with all the constant purging lately, those two still remain. *sigh*)

Just had to get that last little bit out. Seems like whenever this journal starts to get ratings and noticed again, off they go and delete some of them. And I really wish those duplicate accounts would be deleted. He can't seriously be logging in here on a regular basis anymore, can he?

Well, it's getting very cold in here; I guess the thermostat needs some more convincing again. :( Have to go now...