01-25-03 @ 10:53 am EST

Okies. I used to have my childhood King Kuts stories in my port, but deleted them all. They were the stories that first got me started on writing, so I DO still wish to share them. And so occasionally, as time permits, I'll post a chapter from them in here. No grousing; this won't turn into a bending-the-rules-type fiction journal. It's still Skew, I just like to post material once in a while. All right?

This story here was originally called just King Kuts, but a later version had the subtitle The Adventure Begins! added to it. It started out as an illustrated story written out on a pad of paper when I was eleven years old, which would make the story around fifteen years old. *yike* I got the inspiration from a dog food commercial. (King Kuts...get it?) The story spawned four and a half sequels as well as numerous related works, and I really owe all my Kemet writing to it.

This here is NOT the original version of the story. That was damaged by floodwater in our basement and I believe it's now upstairs somewhere. Instead, I offer you the "new" version I wrote in high school (between 1991-95). It's basically the same, except with a few minor additions and of course grammatical corrections. Oh, the prologue and epilogue are new also, though IMO they're very lame and should just be deleted. Author self-insertion...blech. One last thing: The introduction and author's notes (in bold) are new and unique to Writing.com, not to the HS version. I think that's it!

If I ever do find the original, I may post that for you as well. Anyway, here is all the beginning info as well as the first chapter of King Kuts: The Adventure Begins! Enjoy! :)

Ta-daaaa. Here it is. Would you believe that the story that first got me started "seriously" writing was inspired by boredom and a strange animated dog food commercial? Seriously. I was eleven years old and I was walking around in the kitchen bugging my dad. He finally snapped, "Why don't you go write a story!!" So I went and fished out a lined tablet of paper, sat down, and started writing. A while later I popped back into the kitchen with my work and showed it to him. He gawked at it. "I told you to write a STORY, not a NOVEL!"

And the rest was history. The subject of the "novel"? The main character of a weird dog food commercial that had started airing in 1986, featuring dogs walking like Egyptians. The name of the dog food? "King Kuts." *LMAO*

I likewise remember my reaction when I first saw the commercial. My mom and I were sitting on the couch. I saw the drawings of ancient dogs on the wall on TV and murmured, "Egyptian dogs." Then a deep voice started singing, "King Kuts...King Kuts" and we both burst into hysterical laughter. Yet that dumb thing stuck with me, and inspired my first "serious" story, and all you have to do is look in my portfolio to see the results. ;)

This version here is NOT the original version of the story I first wrote on that day. The original tablet is missing at the moment and possibly in a few tatters. It went through several "revisions" and the one I'm going to post here is the one it was in while I was in high school. This version has no illustrations like the original did, which is probably for the best; the cover art is horrendous. It was mildly edited for content and errors and a subtitle was added, "The Adventure Begins!" I should point out that there were three or four sequels written, I believe, and I started work on another one which was never finished. I liked Part Two myself. Should I ever find those...you know where you can find them. :)

One more tiny note, "King Kuts" is a registered trademark of the Quaker Oats Company. Yep. You heard right. The Quaker Oats guys made up the Egyptian dog, *LOLOLOL*!!

And now on to the story...

Tehuti

Pedro, the Chihuahua who comes to Egypt
Fredestaire, Pedro's English friend
Edmond, Fredestaire's companion
Thor, Pedro's new friend
Princess, Thor's girlfriend
King Kutsankhamon, ruler of Egypt
Purrsha, the evil cat who wants the throne
Thutmose III, Purrsha's partner-in-crime
Vrog, Thutmose's pet vulture
Benji, King Kuts's friend
King Zoser, a former ruler of Egypt and a warlock
The Sphinx, King Cheops's "watchdog"
King Cheops, last ruler of Egypt
Nefertiti, a former queen of Egypt and Akhenaton's wife
King Akhenaton, a former ruler of Egypt
LaTa, King Kuts's girlfriend
Imhoptep, King Zoser's architect, scribe, and inventor ["Imhoptep's" name has since been changed to Imhotep--the PROPER spelling.]
Straitjacket, King Kuts's friend
Bull, Pedro's new friend
Horus, the sun-god

Other characters: the crow, some slaves, Mrs. Tattletail, Squeely, Squeaky, the vulture, some servants, the dog killer, some guards

I'M REALLY SORRY, but this story isn't what I'm looking for." The editor turned around in her swivel chair. "What I'm looking for is a children's story. With animals. Lots of animals. Children love animals, especially dogs and cats."

"Well, I do have another story," the young girl replied, "but I didn't think you'd like it."

"Alright." The girl handed over the transcript.

The editor took it and read the cover. King Kuts, it read. The Adventure Begins!

"Sounds interesting," she commented. "Doesn't look like a really long story, either. That's good. Short stories are good for children." She opened it and turned back to her desk. "Don't mind waiting, do you?"

"Not at all," the girl said. "I have a friend waiting outside but I'm sure he'll understand. This story is important to him, too."

"Mm-hm," the editor nodded. And she began to read...

THE SUN ROSE over the horizon with a first faint, then brighter, glimmer. At a little white house on a quiet little street, a small Chihuahua named Pedro looked out the window. He sighed, wanting to go out, but it was too early and, besides, his master rarely ever took him for a walk. The next best thing he could settle for was to go out into the paved enclosure outside. This he decided to do. He jumped down and exited through his pet door.

The enclosure wasn't impressive, especially to a little Chihuahua. It was all pavement, with a tall wire fence on all sides, blocked on the right by a large hedge and in front by a garage which was closed, with a road to the left which led to a place Pedro could not see because of the continuing hedge. A car pulling in would enter the garage from the outside, since the back was facing him. The only way out was into the house. Weeds sprouted out from under the fence, and choked up the cracks in the cement. A tall potted plant sat in the corner, and a sad little rug lay off to the side. It was to the rug Pedro went, after lapping a bit of muddy water from a pothole in the cement, and stretched out to take a nap.

He had just begun to doze off when he heard a friendly voice, seemingly from the hedge.

"Jolly good day, is it not?" it said.

Pedro jumped up with a gasp. "The hedge is speaking!" he cried. "Hedge, but you've never spoken before!"

There was a laugh. "Not the hedge. It's me, on the other side."

Now Pedro realized that his thought had been silly, especially since hedges don't talk with an English accent. "Where are you, amigo? I can't see you. The hedge is too tall."

"Why, you're quite right," the voice said thoughtfully. "Hmm, we shall just have to figure this out."

Pedro heard low talking sounds. It sounded like two people, not one. After a moment, the first voice spoke up again.

"My, how silly of me!" it laughed. "It's so simple. I can't imagine why I never thought of it!" There was a rustle and the branches of the hedge parted. A small dog, a little bigger than Pedro, stuck his head out. He had long black ears, medium-long black, brown, and white fur, and he wore a little pith helmet.

"Hello, there!" he greeted, smiling. "At first I couldn't see you, either. I only heard you come out."

Pedro studied the dog. He was a mongrel--part shih tzu, part skye terrier, maybe a little King Charles spaniel or Yorkshire terrier, but he was certainly a mongrel.

Pedro was pleased, and surprised, too. He'd never seen another dog before, except for one he'd used to live with, who had died a long time ago. He'd never known that dogs had been living so close to him. He finally spoke.

"Amigo, is there another dog there? I could swear I heard two voices," he said.

Another dog poked his head out. He was an Airedale terrier, tan and black with a tinge of white on his chest and muzzle. He also wore a pith helmet.

"Hello!" the Airedale said, with an English accent like the first dog.

"ˇHola!" Pedro finally managed to say, knowing that all greetings had been said as of then.

"You look all cooped up in there," the first dog said. "Why not come out?"

"I can't. It's all fenced up where I am."

"That's no matter. This fence looks so old and worn, it would be easy to push out."

"Me? I'm too little."

"Of course you're not. See? Just push against it, hmm, over there, near the garage. You'll be able to squeeze through the hedge easily over there."

Pedro did as he was told, and found himself in the neighboring dogs' yard.

"Wow, amigos!" he exclaimed. "You were right!" He looked with awe at the huge, green yard.

The Airedale suddenly spoke up. "By Jove, we didn't even introduce ourselves! You start, dear friend."

"Oh dear, nearly forgot!" the mongrel said. "Thank you ever so much for reminding me. My name is Fredestaire." He doffed his pith helmet in a polite way.

"And my name is Edmond," the Airedale added, doffing his helmet in the same manner. "Yours?"

"Pedro. From Mexico," Pedro said, also trying to be polite.

"Jolly good," the first dog said again. "You look like a walk."

Pedro was startled. He checked himself over. "I do?"

Fredestaire laughed again. "No, no, no, I mean you look like you'd like to take a walk."

"Oh!" Pedro said, and laughed. "Sí, I guess I would."

"Well, there's the exit." Fredestaire indicated a door in the wire fence which led to the road.

"Really? Freedom?" Pedro asked with disbelief.

"Mm-hm. And we'll come with you if you'd like."

"That would be great!" Pedro exclaimed, excited. He walked around in circles as the other two got up and pushed the door open. Then, the three dogs started off down the road together.