01-28-03 @ 4:19 am EST

Just worked on

ID: 616574 (Rated: PG-13)
Title: Part 108: Fight To The Finish
Description: Charmian confronts Ocryana in a final showdown for Manitou Island...
By: Tehuti, Lord Of The Eight

for about an hour and got it up to 10kb...I hope to finish it soon, so proofreading isn't such a hassle. This is looking like "the" chapter. Not the end, but the climax. For anyone who cares. :P Amazing, isn't it? That the first parts of that story are in the 100,000s, and this one is in the 600,000's. Dang.

I really hate it when I step in here and have nothing indepth to say. I guess I'll blather about particular people. Well, a particular KIND of person. Whatever.

A while back there was a member here who has since been deleted; knowing his attitude, he probably ended up deleting himself. I didn't really mind him at first as I just felt he was a bit tactless...but as time went on I grew to learn he was REALLY tactless. You know those people who will just say things so blunt, it leads you to believe they have NO understanding or consideration whatsoever for the feelings of others? That's the kind of guy I'm talking about. As an emotional type, I find people like this INCREDIBLY frustrating. And as I'm sure they can't understand me, I can't understand them. I truly can't understand people who don't understand or care for tact. It's like they don't even want to try.

One of his earliest comments on my writing was on a part of The Trench Rats and I don't remember it by now...oh, I think it was on the Manifesto, though it might have been one of the other informational parts that I've since deleted. Firstly he groused about how a sergeant and a corporal cannot have command over a lieutenant...duh. I guess he didn't read the items indepth because I addressed that issue in the writing; there was no need for him to talk down to me like I don't KNOW that lieutenant is a higher rank than corporal and sergeant. Too bad he never glanced at the Ameni Chronicles! Though maybe I should say, too GOOD he never did. God knows what he would have had to say about THOSE.

Once in a while he'd send along a comment or such on something I posted in my journal, or one of my works, though it was obvious he wasn't much interested in my writing. That was fine. I remember the only real POSITIVE comment he offered on my work, and this was on the first part of Manitou Island. Don't recall the exact words; but I KNOW that he said something to the extent of, "This story is a lot better than that OTHER story (i. e., The Trench Rats." When I read that, it's like it deflated the POSITIVE part of the comment. It summed up as, "This isn't half bad; that other story of yours is absolutely horrible!"

We had already gone over how he just didn't get furry stories (which The Trench Rats is), and I thought we had agreed to disagree on that or whatever. So why he brought that up in comparison when there was no way he could judge it impartially, it was beyond me. I swallowed my hurt and thanked him for the review, though I thought I made it clear that it was a bit painful to receive. Maybe that was just his style? He was blunt?

No, I think he was just NEGATIVE.

He said he MIGHT stop by to check out more of the serial, he might not; frankly, I did not really care if that was the tone his "positive" reviews took. I knew he wouldn't be back. I didn't care. But every so often he still offered unwanted comments, and as time went by they grew more and more negative. It wasn't quite enough to be harassment. But it WAS unwanted, and I let him know so.

I checked out his journal every once in a while and he had the tendency to whine (yes, WHINE!--funny how when I do it it's called whining, yet when the people who don't like me do it, they call it legitimate complaining) about users who "whined" about not getting ratings/reviews. I knew that in one entry, he was referring to ME specifically. He referred to a forum I had posted in several days ago, where I had complained that I never got many reviews when posting there. Well, it was a legitimate complaint. In that forum, everybody ELSE who posts gets reviews, if they are part of the "in crowd"; I just got told by the forum owner that my writing was too long and so who would want to read it, even though SHE wrote long items that got lots of ratings? So I got angry and stopped posting there. It was only days AFTER this incident that he decided to address it in his journal. He mentioned how this one user was ALWAYS whining about not getting ratings, which, if he had actually read my posts, he would know was not true. I don't care about not getting RATINGS. Well, I do care, but not nearly as much as I care about not getting REVIEWS. I was complaining that I was not getting REVIEWS on my work, even when people DID rate. Somebody just wants to read and not rate? That's fine; in the case of my erotica, it could just be nonmembers. But I am SICK of ratings with no comments on my items where I SPECIFICALLY ask for comments. What can I say? I want to improve myself. I guess the people who take issue with this complaint of mine don't care to improve. If that's so, I wonder why they're even here.

Anyway, back to his journal...he even named me by my first initial, "T." Referred to the fact that I was a she, referred to the forum I had been posting in, referred to my complaint (albeit misunderstanding it, probably purposefully). It was obvious who he was talking about. He had complained about people like myself in the past. In fact, he complained about "us" so much, that I rather thought HE was the whiner in this case. He claimed not to care about this site or anything or anyone on it, but for not caring, he did spend an inordinate amount of time whining about people who were upset that they did not get reviews.

For the record I checked out his own writing and it was nothing to write home about. Toward the end he had only like five items, two of them statics, so I fail to see why he was still a preferred. He even stated in his journal that he didn't care for writing, and often wondered aloud why he was even here, why he was keeping a journal, etc. For somebody who didn't care about any of this, he sure did wonder about a lot! And *I* kept wondering, if he hates this place so much that he constantly has to talk about it, then why doesn't he delete himself and go?

Well, maybe he did, EVENTUALLY, but that's later and not yet.

I can't remember what order this happened in, but I came across the journal of ANOTHER user here, and she posted a very angry, upset entry about this guy. She even named him, so I knew it was him. Turned out that he'd been sniping at her, too, only she was being more vocal about it than I had. I had tried to give him the benefit of the doubt--maybe he really had no clue about tact--but with all of this piling up, I figured out that he just didn't CARE about others' feelings.

I then posted an entry about him, myself...

Interesting Fake Face You Have There, Sir.

I figured he would now TAKE THE HINT and not e-mail me anymore, as I had clearly stated he was not welcome. Why was he reading my journal if he disliked hearing from me so much? Damned if I knew...

But no, he was not nearly that smart. He e-mailed me, most likely to debate about my journal. It's a JOURNAL and not a discussion forum so I really can't figure out why some people insist on debating over what I post in here. If I were to follow the advice of some people who are obviously biased against me, then you'd never be seeing authentic ENTRIES in Skew. What would you be seeing? I have no clue. "Deep" angsty poetry, perhaps? Sunshine and rainbows? *shrug* My HAPPY entries and my actual writing are the ones these people don't comment on, so I can't figure out why they would want me to stop posting the negative entries they DO comment on, and stick exclusively to happy stuff. It would honestly give them nothing to complain about. As if I want to hear them anyway...

I don't think I ever read his e-mail. I was too annoyed by him, and so decided to ignore him.

Every so often, though, I'd still get e-mails from him. One was in response to an entry I posted in which I wondered if I was too harsh toward my cat.

Hurt & Insulted

Oh how interesting that he decided to write to me then! I thought perhaps he was going to be encouraging for a change, and opened the e-mail...sheesh, I was dumb. All I read was the first line and it was along the lines of "That lady was right--" Then I got so angry that I closed the e-mail and again vowed NEVER to read anything else from this person.

Some time passed, and I don't think I heard from him for a while. Then I posted an entry in which I was upset and needed some encouragement.

What's Going To Die

A few people did e-mail me to do so; I was grateful. Then came an e-mail from HIM. I'd learned the hard way, and I wasn't even going to BOTHER with it this time!

Granted, I was clueless at the time why he had sent it; though it could have been in response to my entry asking for encouragement, knowing him, it likely was not. Oh, I bet it was a RESPONSE to that entry--but not an encouraging one. I don't think this guy knew HOW to encourage people. Remember? Even his positive review managed to be hurtful and tactless.

That unread e-mail inspired THIS entry.

Why Keep Writing?

I thought there was NO WAY I could have been unclear in this entry. I did not read his e-mails anymore. I did not want him to send any. I saw no point to his sending any. He was wasting his time sending any, as I would not read them. Go find something more worthwhile to do. I don't bug you, so you don't bug me. The end.

Of course I wished for too much, hoping that he'd take the hint...he e-mailed me AGAIN, immediately after that. The subject of his e-mail was "Why not?"...in direct response to the title of the entry above. I didn't read that either...and it was accidentally deleted in the purge mistake a few months back.

Can you see the attitude there? "Why not?" I just told him why not--I DIDN'T WANT TO HEAR FROM HIM. Rather than a question it struck me as an insult. The punk who gets in your face and says, "You gonna do something about it?" I'd already asked him, at least twice, to leave me alone...he didn't misunderstand, he just didn't WANT to leave me alone.

Thus was posted the first paragraph of

Butterfly Dwarfs

I can't remember what happened afterward. He MAY have e-mailed me at least once more before vanishing, he may not have. Either way he appeared to FINALLY lose interest when I stopped replying to him, and that was the end. And now he's deleted.

No, he was not a harasser. I've been harassed and that was not it. But he was just a shade below it. UGH! I CAN'T understand the people who obviously dislike me and/or my writing, yet can't seem to draw themselves away from it, like people watching a car wreck even while complaining about how it clutters up the road. I don't make anybody read my stuff...if I did...there would be more people reading my serial! Don't you think? While I enjoy reads to my journal--it wouldn't be here otherwise--I can't understand the negative people who continue to come here, tell me how to post, don't offer any constructive help on my actual writing NOR do they offer advice when I DO ask for it, don't comment on the positive entries, and can't seem to understand it, or don't care to, when I tell them to just leave me alone if they don't like me. That goes for negative entries, positive entries, offtopic entries, writing entries, ANY and all entries. Eventually, after I get enough negativity from somebody, I will quit reading their e-mail, no matter what it might be about. I actually sit here and write things, and when I'm in a bad mood, I cannot write. So I don't have the time or inclination to read such responses. I don't ask to be coddled, but if people want to write to me, I'd rather they send something encouraging along, or go away.

They don't HAVE to send along any comments. The negative ones seem magnetically drawn to do so, though.

Anyway, I just got a dizzy spell and need to log off. So far there are now THREE people I will not read e-mails from, and one of them is the guy I spoke of above, since deleted. The other users have never been named, nor will I name them in here, or tell them to their faces. But if they really can't see their own behavior/attitude in this entry, or have no idea how pissed off they've gotten me, again, I have no clue why they're still reading this.

I guess if they have nothing better to do they'll just keep commenting and/or dinging me, but they can see already it's futile, because I'm still BLATHERING, aren't I?

And I'm still writing...which is why later on I will come back here and work more on Part 108. Or on the latest Chronicle with Dja'mui. Something which those particular readers will never bother to set eyes upon, for some mysterious reason...

Will I get another ding for posting this? Proves my point, as I always say, proves my point...on a site with thousands upon thousands of items to read, they are drawn repeatedly to mine. Sweet.

My total reviewed items keeps going down. I wish they'd stop purging things; at this rate I'll never reach 2000 items reviewed, not that I'm trying for a record or anything. One quality review is worth ten "This was great!"s any day.

Tar...