02-21-03 @ 2:10 am EST

I got an e-mail today from T., the person who once ran the old Switchboard Group at Yahoo!. Remember when I referred to the "Saga of C." I have yet to get to? (I'm still reluctant--that's why!) This was the message board where we all joined after that site died, and where HE kept breaking the stated rules over and over and OVER and just kept being let back in to do it again. He even threatened me directly once, but T. overlooked it. When I referred to him vaguely, we were BOTH unsubbed, even though I told her he had been referring to me all along. (Who ELSE was he talking about whenever he mentioned ancient Egypt and such?) She let us back in, but that was the last straw for me. Since then I was strictly lurker.

Remember that C. tried to get back in touch with me as recently as a few months ago, by posting vulgar messages in my guestbooks under a different IP (who else would have posted them? Except maybe P. (NOT the P. I write in here about!), a friend of his who is just as bad), then posting messages under his own ID asking me to "get back to him" after finding out the "bad guy's" IP so he could go get 'em for me, big hero that he is. Gag! What a load of guano. (Yes, I watched CSI last night.) I have known him since just after I came online in early 2000, and I know almost EVERY one of his games, as one of his perpetual victims. It is only because I have limited myself away from certain parts of the Net that I have remained mostly out of contact with him. I believe he, even before the Four Board incident, was my very first encounter with a flamer, and I know better by now, I hope.

Now who does T. think she is inviting me back to post? (She invited everyone else, too.) I'm still a member there, in case she forgot. I logged in and went back to see what was different. Oh, I forgot to mention that a while back she wrote to everybody to say flatly that there were new rules and NO flaming or fighting allowed. Hmmmm, I wonder WHO prompted her to change them like that? Given that most of the members behaved themselves except for HIM and his cronies...

And how come the fighting and attacks were not bad enough when they were aimed at ME that she didn't enforce her own rules back then? She had a sort of three strikes and you're out thing, but remember she kept letting him back in because he was her "friend"...even though every few weeks he would turn on her, too.

It got to the point where I found it rather amusing, I have to admit, to see him attack his OTHER "friends" for a change, since I knew how it felt very well by then.

Anyway...why bother including me on her e-mail list? HIS e-mail was right in the header too. And when I checked out the Group, he has had a posting as recently as yesterday night, right after her invitation for people to come back. Turns out he has another Group of his own going, it started in January and has twelve members, and already has thousands of messages. I'm willing to bet that most of them are by him (possibly under aliases?), and/or many of them are gossip and attacks. On his homepage he says NO racial slurs or attacks and no continually bad language...*LMAO* Who is HE to ask for all of that? Back on Switchboard I seem to remember he even threatened me with rape once. (Even Switchboard would not take action against him. The reason they ostensibly shut down the boards was because nobody could KEEP ON TOPIC! I guess offtopic posts are a lot more threatening than threats of sexual assault...) Right after those rules, however, he states that the other Group (T.'s) was too repressive and everybody needs to cut loose now and then. The only thing T.'s Group SUPPOSEDLY banned was inflammatory behavior. So what could he possibly be "cutting loose" and allowing in his Group, if not personal attacks? Every time he was rebuked for making a personal attack in T.'s Group, he would get all sulky and unsub himself, only to come back a while later, often under an alias, which never lasted long until he was found out. (He can disguise himself for all of two minutes before giving himself away.)

So you can see how much rules mean to him, if he bans attacks in one sentence and welcomes them in the next. I AM curious as to what the content of the Group is...but I know him, and I bet he's logging IPs. No matter what ID I joined under, he'd find out...so no thanks...not setting foot in THAT place.

And as I've been trying to say (but keep wandering offtrack), T. should know him and me better by now. So you say that it is "safe" to post in your Group now, T. That's interesting. Because you fed me that same line OVER and OVER before and whenever I told you I was being attacked, you let it continue, and even when you rebuked him, you let him back in. You KNEW that he was a repeat offender who could not behave by your rules, but that did not matter because you considered him your "friend" (even though you did complain a few times yourself whenever he turned on YOU--I guess you forget how you feel every so often?). If your inflammatory friend means so much to the Group, why do you include me in your address book as an invitee? I already told you very bluntly, possibly even rudely, how I felt about the situation. You are not willing to put your foot down, you are not willing to enforce your rules if it means you have to get rid of one of your "friends" (here's a hint for you, T.--YOU'RE NOT HIS FRIEND!), and so I am not willing to remain a contributor to the Group. I will lurk for now, yes, at least until you kick me out...but if you do kick me out it's only because of your own failure, not mine. I GAVE you chance after chance after chance until I finally learned the hard way, just as I learned with him. How many times, seriously, do you think it will take before somebody learns things will not ever change, no matter how strictly you speak of rules? He is still in that Group, posting links to HIS inflammatory Group, so why do you think it's any different? You struck me as smart before, so you must just be naive. THIS, coming from ME!

This has just turned into an open letter, it seems! But I'll keep going. Not done yet.

*cough* As I was saying...even if she somehow DID manage to enforce her own rules, and deleted his attacks on me (which would be BOUND to appear), even if I were able to convince her they really ARE attacks on me (she just couldn't get that through her head for some reason--who else did she think he was referring to?)...even if she DID eventually get too fed up and deleted him from the Group...so what? By posting in her Group, I would be posting in a known hangout of a stalker. HE would know I am still active, he would know I have seen his posts, and he would come after me AGAIN. Maybe not in the Group...but elsewhere. My websites. My journals, now that they're semi-public. My guestbooks, e-mail, who knows where else. Oh, I know! HERE. He'd find out about this place and how to use it. And just like before, that would happen again, with HIM this time. It's a sheer miracle he hasn't found me HERE yet. He must have just gotten bored when I stopped replying, but you've seen that's not quite enough to keep him away.

So what point does T. hope to achieve by inviting people back? I for one am too afraid to continue the crap...well, by now, not afraid, as I know he's harmless, so far...but I worked hard for my ratings here, and I do not want ANOTHER idiot finding out how to turn them into crap. His posts to my guestbooks and in my e-mail are just funny by now; they no longer threaten me. In fact I'm amused whenever he tries again; I may be stupid but I'm not THAT stupid, and I find it funny when he thinks that I am. But this site is my last safe haven, and I don't need another Headache now that I'm starting to finally relax.

T. should know better, by now, that this is a guy who will ACTIVELY follow somebody from website to website (I know!--because he did!) just to get a rise out of them. And while I couldn't care less if he followed me to OTHER sites, I DO care if he comes after me here. Even if T. does not know about this site (and for all I know she doesn't), she should know by now how stalkers work and what their victims have to do to get some peace. That means that *I* have to keep quiet just to be left alone, so there is no WAY in hell I will be posting again in that Group. Once, twice, thrice, endless times bitten, forever shy.

So no thanks, T. Your own refusal to enforce your "black and white" rules has ensured I will no longer be a contributor! But you can't stop me from lurking and laughing at what an idiot C. is unless you unsub me, and then you will be being a hypocrite, so I could not care less.

Just wanted to get that all out. Can't believe how dense people can be sometimes.

Ma has allegedly started reading Manitou Island. *sigh* I like that she's trying, but the thing is 110 chapters long and she can't hold interest for very long at all, so I don't hold out much hope. She saw the address of a "local publisher" of a series of kiddie horror books set in northern Michigan, but I'm guessing it's a pseudonym for a self-published person; she said she was going to contact them anyway. *cringe* I bet nothing will come of that, not that it'll matter. There is just no market for fantasy around here. And she claimed I could not use the ferry line name Shepler's in my story, though I am almost 100% certain I can, as people refer to airlines and such all the time...the thing that DOES worry me is my usage of Ocryx, as I did not create that character, and to the best of my knowledge he is not from the mythology. I'm pretty sure I would not be able to use him, and by default the rest of the Ocryxes, in the published story without permission. But I have no clue who to contact. He's been around in the Haunted Theater since I was a little kid; the person who originally created him is probably long gone by now. I have just never worried about it too much because my chances of publication are infinitesimal.

Word of the day: Infinitesimal: Incredibly tiny, microscopic, almost nonexistent

I know I should still be reading my Algonquin book but I suddenly got the urge to read about the Romany again and so started for the umpteenth time on my giganto printout of the Patrin Web Journal site.

http://www.geocities.com/Paris/5121/patrin.htm

Very, very informative; strongly suggest you go if you're interested in the Gypsies. The last ethnic group remaining against whom racism and stereotypes are still actively allowed and encouraged almost everywhere. I know a bad habit is hard to break, but when is the last time YOU claimed you have been "gypped" by somebody? Ever wonder where that term came from? Now you know.

Dunno why the sudden interest, I can never explain these myself. :/ I'll probably grow bored soon anyway. Well, I have to go work on my dream journal again now...tar.