04-09-03 @ 2:19 am EDT

Finally got a response to my posting for a POTENTIAL snail-mail penpal. And yes, it's disappointing, as always.

My "ad" was left in a guestbook on a site that uses guestbooks as the posting areas. I posted in the...well, I know it was my age range guestbook. My post was VERY long and detailed, outlining everything I like and don't like, want and don't want, etc. I figured this will probably deter most sane people from responding--who wants to write to the picky girl?--but like I've said before, my experience with penpals has been that it'll be like nine horny guys asking to hook up, and one teenage girl who has NOTHING in common with me aNd WrItZ lIk DiS and wants to talk about *gasphuffpant*BOYS!!! or else about the sensual gratification she gets whenever cutting herself...watch the blood flow...ooooooh. I even had to specify that my interest in fantasy was NOT some overwhelming consuming obsession with Lord Of The Rings; I have never seen the entire movie (watched maybe an hour of it, didn't finish the rest), felt no incredible desire to see the sequel, and I don't go into hyperventilation whenever Legolas for some reason crosses my mind. He's cute, but doesn't do it for me. I think Aragorn needs a hair wash and a serious bath; otherwise I could not even sit near him, and his looks don't drive me to distraction either. And I can't really write to somebody who has to mention the movie or the book or hobbits in any way, shape, or form in every single letter. Etc. I'll quit on that now as I know I've offended every single LOTR fan, which is like 99.9% of the country's population. *eek* No offense to people who are like all or any of the above...it's just that I don't want to be writing to you indepth.

I said also in my post that I wanted to send a few E-MAILS first before MAYBE graduating to snail mail--this IS the Internet, you know. I said PLEASE e-mail me and tell me about yourself somewhat so I could know if we were compatible.

Well, I got the first and probably the last e-mail today...I assume it's from a female (oh yeah, I also asked that the respondents be female as every time it's a guy they're HORNY!...should show them a pic of my thighs, maybe then they'd back off in fear) as the e-mail name has "goddess" in it. I was pessimistic even before I opened it. It said something to the extent of:

"WANT TO BE PENPAL FRIENDS WE SHARE SAME INTERESTS."--(herein follows snail-mail address)

Well...thank you very much for introducing yourself!!

Number one...how OLD is this person? She did not say. She could be a teenager, she could be a grandmother for all I know. I can't even tell if we're in the same age group, even though I asked that respondents be around my age. Maybe I should have specified "be around my age MENTALLY," because I have come across 26 year olds who you could swear were dorky teenagers, and I have come across teenagers you could swear were mature 26 year olds. I'd rather write to the latter than the former, of course!

Number two...TURN OFF THE CAPS LOCK AND USE PUNCTUATION! I'm really sorry I'm being offensive to this person...their e-mail name sounds familiar to me for some reason, which makes me anxious...but come on, when you're online there are just some things you are supposed to know. Netiquette. Like using the Shift key to capitalize the first letter of sentences and of proper nouns, and leaving it alone the rest of the time. The CAPS LOCK button is NOT necessary unless you're really trying to SHOUT!!

Maybe it's just me...but when I've just met somebody and they insist on SHOUTING HELLO!!, it kind of makes me back off.

Number three...she didn't even tell me her name, much less her age. At least I don't think she did, unless it was in with the snail-mail address; I didn't pay much attention to that part of the e-mail, I admit. If not name she could've told me what she prefers to be called, like I prefer Tehuti over my real name. That was kind of rude.

Number four...I SAID e-mails first, THEN MAYBE snail mail! She just up and gives me her snail mail address like she expects me to write after one tiny e-mail from her?...I don't think so. This is my primary reservation about snail-mail penpals, the address giving. I CANNOT believe the groups they have online where people just toss out their real-world addresses to any old passerby and then wait for somebody to write to them! Certainly, there were rapes and kidnappings before the Net, but aren't they concerned for safety? That's why I said I wanted to "test drive" the thing first, by e-mail, so to speak. I VERY clearly said this in my post, so why it was missed, I can't fathom.

And lastly and most importantly..."we share the same interests"? That's nice...like WHAT? I listed a long line of things...for all I know we could share maybe two or three of the things I am LEAST interested in. I have no clue! She didn't bother describing herself, her own interests, her life, etc. And so while she has a pretty clear picture of me, I have zero picture of her except for her real-world address. Which I of course will not be using. I guess it's too much to ask nowadays to get to know somebody first BEFORE writing to them. With guys it's "I have no idea who you are, but you're young and single and female, so let's hook up!" and with girls it's "I have no clue if we are even remotely alike, but let's swap addresses anyway!"...when I really thought females would be different. *sigh*

So, that's strike number one. I apologize to this person, but she won't be getting a return e-mail...I stated in my post that I would not respond if I felt we weren't compatible, and since she didn't care to prove we were compatible, I don't feel I should have to e-mail her to get her to clarify. She must not have read most of my posting to miss out on such important requests that I made. If by any chance she sees this entry (*cringe*), she's free to try again, in better detail, but I've grown very cynical by now, where it seems that even females can't be relied upon when seeking out penpals. (So I'm sexist! At least I have yet for a female to hit on me. Though I guess that would be just as annoying. Then I'd have to show her my thighs, too. o_O Yes, I am equal-opportunity anti-flirting.)

So that has been my lovely (not) experience with snail-mail penpalling. And like I said it'll probably be my last. Penpalling is very, very annoying; I have yet to have ANY success in ANY sort of penpalling. I have no clue how others do it.

Well, that's my rant for now, and aren't you glad? It isn't Writing.com related or anything like that? Though I did lose a bunch of my referrals... :P Going now...tar...