05-30-03 @ 10:14 am EDT

Sorry I haven't written as much in here or updated anything lately (not that anyone but my few regulars would notice, anyway, but...). I've been busy with something and haven't felt much like doing anything I usually do. I'm still trying to get rid of this cold; it's a lot better but my throat still bugs me. And my head hurts and I'm still depressed about some things. None of you have to worry about them, they don't have anything to do with you. (Except for my guilt at not having replied to you yet.)

I also very much apologize to the people I owe e-mail or notes to. P., LR, NPH (who is BACK! :D ), B., S., RJR, T. (offsite--if you're reading this, you sent me a link recently, and wrote about bitches, so you know who you are--you are T.--and I'm not ignoring you), C. (offsite)...who am I forgetting? Well, if I haven't bitched you out recently, chances are you're meant to be included too. I usually TRY to make it obvious when I'm giving somebody the cold shoulder, but with this avoidance I'm sure it's hard for anyone who isn't me to know the difference between "I'm trying to get to you" and "I'm never going to get to you so buzz off."

Usually somebody has to have really pissed me off to get one of those anyway...

I also just haven't been as in to R&R'ing or critiquing lately...the payback just isn't worth it. This site just seems to be...well, I won't say dying, but then again, it doesn't seem as active as it used to be. I do get occasional unprompted R&R's from total strangers, which I appreciate; but lately days go by without anything but comments from the few regulars, despite editing and lifting restrictions and such. So without the interest I haven't had much interest in writing myself. It'll come back eventually, but I'm just not as active in this community anymore, and I don't see any real point to being more active anyway. All the forums and journals I used to like have died to a trickle. It's as if people have retreated into their own small cliques and things are largely quiet. Maybe that's just me, though. *shrug*

I got an offsite comment about my Trench Rats a little while back which sparked a bit of my interest in that flagging series. I need to reply to that as well. It's a pity I can't update anything at FPN anymore, but I've e-mailed support numerous times, and even e-mailed the webmaster, and they don't care to fix the error so I just can't bring myself to post anything on a site where they don't care if their own users can't use the site properly. So I directed that reader to the Writing.com version and let them read the rest...if I knew what to do with it I'd write some more. They will likely lose interest in it before I get to update, like the person who followed me here from the old FFN and was once reading the Chronicles...I went for a month or so without updating and never heard from them again. :/ I probably should have secured their e-mail address ahead of time to give them updates. Oh well. One can only be so patient, right? Even me. I already let the TR reader know it's a slow series. Still it was nice to get that e-mail, to know that somebody liked it.

So my mind has been a lot on the Rats lately...especially Boris and Didrika for some reason...sometimes I think I'd like to be one of them, because they are a real community. A messed-up one, but a real one. In my head, at least. There's always something going on in TR HQ.

I think the next part of RTMI is nearly done, but I'm not sure. Like I said I've been busy with something else so trivial I won't explain it here...plus transcribing some old dreams (my latest one is so bizarre I can't even summarize it...perhaps I was on drugs that night?)...maybe when I'm done with that things will get back on track. And when my head stops hurting, too.

Until then, or whenever, tar...