06-17-03 @ 5:43 am EDT

I guess I was wrong in my "Tehuti At Thirteen" entry. I found another diary, this a one-year, kept in 1994 when I was...well, I have written down 17-18, though I kept IT for only about two months, too, so I guess I was seventeen. I thought there were only a few entries in it but it extends through late February, so...plus it's longer, and I have these bizarre THOUGHTS at the end of each entry. I can't believe I was that...deep. o_O Anyway, here is the first week of entries, with margin notes scribbled in indicated in blue. Minor corrections may be allowed, and some punctuation might be missed, but nothing major; just anal old me. I'll post future weeks as time allows. Keep in mind this is all so truncated because I was writing entire daily entries on tiny little pages. Ugh. Enjoy...

Saturday, January 1 1994: eyes looking different ways, basketball shoes in window, Eric, Grandpa Had weird nitemares about Gerardo's eyes & basketball. Watched a weird Beatrix Potter show on TV w/ dancing rabbits, pigs, mice, ducks, etc. 3rd day of the curse. Experimented w/ some really weird things on the computer & got scared I ruined everything! Lost part of a file & had to retype. Tick! Dad & I tried to figure out the difference 'tween burglary & robbery, to no avail. Oh well. I always liked word "robbery" more. Typed a bit about UFOs, managed to dance a little. Nothing really exciting. MCI "Who's Bob?" commercial just on--I never see it & it's driving me nuts! Going to bed soon. Thoughts: If "they" are out there, what is it that they want?

Sunday, January 2 1994: Slept in a bit 'cause I was so tired! Watched a couple of films about the Holocaust. Nothing exciting again. What's new? Ma & I talked of how prejudiced people are often brought up learning to hate people thru no fault of their own. Watched Star Trek; really neat--2 jellyfish aliens hugged tentacles. Fourth day. Finished Ocryx painting for art, did some Spanish. Found out that Protestants swear using bodily functions; Catholics, religious figures; Indians, Asians, & another group(?), insulting family. "God is like a Maidenform bra--He won't let you down!" Listened to funny tape w/ Ma on headphones. Hope I can sleep tonite. Thoughts: Since you can't lay blame on the prejudiced people or those who taught them, who's to blame?

Monday, January 3 1994: *--went to bed later--Ma got home late! my 5th day. *--drew in sketchpad Not much again! My life is too exciting. Went to school: got an 85 on physiology test I worried about, Hamlet group in Brit Lit, show about CCC in history, handed in portrait in art. Starting figure unit. I sketched a couple, Mrs. Kolaski said they were good. Upset because Michelle left, couldn't sit by her at lunch, but sat by Diane, Ben & others anyway. [Note: I believe I consistently misspelled Dianne's name throughout this diary, if this is indeed the person I'm remembering. There were two of them--Diane W., and Dianne B., but Dianne B. was the one I hung out with in high school. I hung out with both D.'s in junior high, plus get this--there was another RACHEL in our group, too! Michelle, Melissa, Diane, Dianne, Rachel, and Rachel! Gah. In high school it was Michelle, Dianne, Ben, Emily, and Rachel, and the other group was Desirae, Eric, sometimes Russell, and Rachel, as far as I can remember.] Had my D is for Damien soundtrack. Ben said, "Now you've got music for that thing?" No cookies at lunch, tick! Handed in 1st 3 chapters of booklet in Sp. to Mr. Landes so I don't have to feel as guilty anymore. Got 96 on math test, & sticker. Got letters from Danbury Mint & Museum of Nat. Hist.--dumb! Got sketchpads & car mag at K-Mart, lost calculator! Aaahh! Thought: Where do all lost things finally go? **

Tuesday, January 4 1994: *--& then Fashion Bug + Slept in till 11:30. Went to Petoskey w/ Ma, ate at Flapjack place--saw lady w/ throat thing that made her sound like a robot. Got to shrink (sun was shining & snow falling)--appointment screwed up, had to reschedule! Tick! Went to K-Mart* to find Dad a sweater, Ben Franklin's, Book Stop. Bought 9 tapes. Had to wait for one guy to move! At K-Mart got newspaper & sound effects cd. Weather turned bad, played my tape player on way home. "When I Looked At Him" is by Exposé! Huh! Got home, Ma & Dad & I got mad about calculator (forgot), pop, sweater (Dad didn't like it). Watched Star Trek, did my math. Headache won't go away! Listened to cd--jets sound real! 6th day. Thought: Am I being left behind in time?

Wednesday, January 5 1994: girl sat at my seat before class--tick! *--Ms. K talked of sundogs, & of how meaningless life was School today, tick! Did test in phys., don't think I did too bad; group notes in Brit Lit, got notes for history test in Am. Hist.--don't expect to do well! Got upset in art, still mad about calculator--think it's stolen. Kept trying to draw figure, just couldn't get it. Cried; Ms. K, Michelle & Desirae tried to help. Des said her drawing looked like marshmallow head (yesterday told me not to touch her crystal). Felt terrible.* Sat at lunch w/ gang, read story of Russell's about boy who cried wolf so wolf worships Satan. Got student ID's--look like an elf! Talked about terrorist situation in Mexico in Sp., didn't do much. Did math in geometry--duh! Got home, called Ma to get new calculator; took nap, watched shows, did homework. Thought: What is meaning of life?

Thursday, January 6 1994: *Pepper got microwaved treats! Yum! Better today (though they didn't call school off--water tower invisible!!). Did words & talked about weather in phys. group & Hamlet w/ Mel Gibson in Brit Lit. Room had movie posters for books--Thief of Always, Shadows, etc. Took test in Am. Hist. (ugh!), watched show about genocide. Did pretty good in art--Ms. K said I drew 2 min. sketches better than her. At lunch Emily got mayo on her pear & accidentally threw it in my fries. Yuck! Worked & played game in Sp. (tried to figure out words to La Bamba), did math in geo--double duh! Visited Mrs. Rocheleau today, talked mostly of how I'm coming along on my goals. She let me try this galvanized-something hand thing that made a high noise when you're excited, goes down when you're calm. Ma didn't bingo!* Thought: Are we all wrong or right?

Friday, January 7 1994: *--started Trench Rat movie poster--ha ha! got Time-Life book Took word quiz in Phys., really screwed me up big time! Watched Hamlet in Brit. Lit--part w/ him & his mom, sick!!! Looked at book-movie posters--neat idea. Watched Holocaust show in Am. Hist.--horrible! Rape, incinerators, changing eye color--terrible what they did to the Jews. Looked at figure slides in art--"Manet is like Monet with an a!"--then drew lots! Pizza for lunch--yummm (not). Sat next to Paul 'cause table's other side filled up. After lunch (bathroom floor all wet, had to wash folder!) showed slanguage to Michelle--"There goes a diesel! I'm wizard today! I smell where you're coming from!" Laughed a lot. Did work & quiz in Sp., math in math (duh!!). While walking down side road dumb lady honked! Took nap, started tape for Mya.* Thought: What makes us so different?

Well, at least it's a lot better than the last one...even though I don't remember like 80% of this.

More to come some other time...