06-28-03 @ 7:43 am EDT

I started a new journal. Na-na-hoo-hoo-hey-hey. ^_^

ID: 711805 (Rated: X)
Title: The Eros Pages
Description: Erotica stories, ideas, thoughts, etc. etc.
By: Tehuti, Lord Of The Eight

Pretty much this is just a way for me to fiddle around with my Black Binder stuff until I should figure out what to do. I want to post it, but I'm just not sure if I should add it to my port. Hopefully with this I can both share the writing and my own opinions/views on it, along with other only partly formed ideas and unfinished scenes. I do have some ones that have been in progress for quite a while, mainly because I get so scattered between my writing projects, and because my dream journal and the Chronicles have taken up most of my time. (Time that I should be allotting to poor RTMI. It's been almost a MONTH since I put out the last chapter! :( )

I will probably start to get a ton of bad ratings but eh...too tired of the subject to post about it now. Maybe some other time.

AND, I wanted to add something I forgot about in my LAST entry. I do remember an occasion the person who prompted that entry responded to one of my more positive entries. It was my psych test results, for me and my characters. Innocent entries, meant all in good fun; while I believe there was some merit to the results, if only because I know my own emotional/mental states better than anyone else, it's not like I was sitting here basing my entire existence on them. It should be well, WELL known to readers of my journal how "into" my characters' lives I get, and I love just exploring their psyches. Er whatever.

The response to these entries was to tell me that instead of posting and commenting on psych test results I should be out there getting a life and not complaining about my mental state. Apparently they took my comment "Wow, I knew I was messed up, but not THAT messed up" very literally and felt the need to bark about it. I was told I should not take the test so seriously.

SheESH. It in fact was the other way around; I told them THEY should not have taken my ENTRY so seriously. Give me a break. Like I was going to log off and obsess the entire evening over the results of an online test? Maybe I'm obsessive for getting so into my characters' heads, but I like to think that the more we know about our creations, the better we can write about them. What I was doing when I was posting the test results might have seemed completely pointless, but in fact I think it was helping me shed some light on my writing. And even if it hadn't been...then who gives a rip? Better to yap about my characters than bitch about somebody's lack of a life. But I covered THAT already, last time around.

Sorry to keep harping on it, but I just cannot bring myself to understand the motives of such people. They're so fixated on telling others to shut up in their PERSONAL journals that they can't see how hypocritical they're being. Personal journals are here for us to post about our lives and thoughts--and if we have no lives, then who gives a damn. It's better to post about a lack of a life than to make up a life, or to try to be all deep and literary sounding when in fact one is posting just senseless drivel. I'd much rather read a journal full of whining interspersed with somebody obsessing about their writing than one with those pseudo-deep flowery entries which sound very, VERY fake, interspersed with hypocritical criticism of how OTHER people decide to use their personal journals. Yah, I just complained about others' journals, but I have yet to tell them to shut up and stop posting that drivel. It's their space, they can do whatever they want. Whenever I feel like telling such people to shut up and write like a regular person already, I click the Back button, stop reading their journal, and go on my way. I am not going to change how *I* post to make somebody ELSE happy, so I should not impose that on anyone else, either.

Would that more people would learn that. I've been told to shut up and get a life so many damn times, yet Skew has been here almost TWO YEARS so far...do you rather feel I would have taken the hint and closed shop by now if I really felt like taking such "advice" to heart?

Bla bla, sorry I'm obsessing. Like I said, it's just because I'm trying to understand what such people think they are going to gain from telling others how to use their journals, and what to post and not post in them, and when to get a life, but I really can't empathize or understand it. I can understand the frustration one feels toward a perpetual whiner, but not what accomplishment or satisfaction they might get out of giving "advice" that won't be taken anyway. If I DID finally take their advice, would they feel proud of themselves or something? If I decide NOT to take their advice, are they then going to sit there and obsess about me even more? Should I just feel flattered that they hover over my journal so frequently, no matter how annoying they might be?

As I said once in an entry I posted based on a note left for me at FOD ("Dude, you type too much. Get a life"), "If I were to take your advice, close up my journal, and stop posting publicly right this moment, how would your life be affected? Would you really feel better? What if I were to merely continue posting my entries elsewhere--how would you know? Would you follow me there and give your advice again until it's heeded? What if I were to type them on paper instead of on the screen--how would that affect you? Would your life be so much better and more fulfilled if Skew were to no longer exist, right this moment? How?"

And what about MY life? This type of reader seems a lot more interested in their OWN lives than in MINE. Sad. Skew may not be helping me, but NOT typing in Skew wouldn't be helping me, either. I've already gone over all the reasons, some of them perfectly legitimate, why I have not so far tried to improve my life, but like I've said before there are some truly clueless people out there who seem to believe that psychological and career help are entirely free to everyone within walking distance...

It saddens me to think that there are some people who can't understand that for some of us, an online journal and its readers are the only support system we have. Call us pathetic if you want; but it's true. And I can't be the only one.

I have no idea, anyway, what exactly would constitute a "life" for such people, thus how could I post about it even if I wanted to fake them out and get them off my back? I know from sad experience that no matter WHAT I were to do with my life, they would find a reason to complain; it always happens.

A cue from the old Four Board: "Your posts are too long! Too short! Too offtopic! You don't know enough about the subject to post ON topic! Quit being so serious! Quit being so frivolous! Be yourself! We don't like you, be somebody else! Don't listen to what others say! Listen to what we say! Keep posting! Shut up! Bla bla bla bla bla...!"

I already made the call many times before for said people to go ahead and call up a free psychiatrist in my area, or loan me cab fare, or money to pay for appointments and medication, or bla bla bla, and they never responded, so again to reiterate, I believe they care more about their OWN sense of smug satisfaction than about MY well-being. It's always weird how when I do ask for advice the "Get a life!" people are never there. *whistle*

And 99.9% of the time they comment only on my negative entries...hardly ever the positive ones. They never comment on the BIGGEST aspect of my life, my writing--though I'm damned glad they don't, they'd probably just bitch about that, too! (Because it's not "deep" enough--gag me.) Only the negative stuff. It's literally like they can see only ONE aspect of me, and ignore the rest. Very telling.

Do I have anything else to blather about so this is not so reminiscent of my last entry? Well, I had these VERY hot chips that are flavored with tomato and...avocado?? Very weird. O_o But not too bad. I thought I had something to say about the cat that I've been meaning to say for a while but I forget.

I'm getting bored of this entry. >:/

Bla bla bla.

I hate it when webmasters can't spell properly. And when people in power on a WRITING SITE can't spell properly it bugs me even more. I know we all make mistakes but...doesn't anybody anymore know the difference between "who's" and "whose," and that it's "weird," not "wierd," and are there ANY people below the age of 20 who know the difference between "you're" and "your," and "their" and "there," and "to" and "too," and "its" and "it's," and "bear" and "bare," and "bored" and "board," etc.? Something might look like a good piece of writing in principle, but the MOMENT I see something like "I want to go over their," or "That's there house," or "You don't know what your doing," or "Their house? That's you're house!" or "You're to nice too him"...I quit reading. Period. People on a writing site should KNOW better by now. As a reader, I should not have to point out all the basics that were taught in junior high English class. You'd think they'd stopped teaching that, or else three-quarters of the world's population slept right through it. UGH.

And for the love of God, it's WITHDRAWAL, NOT WITHDRAWL!! Damn, I HATE that one! >_<

Oh yes, I think I have about 2600 words left of Part 7 to proof. I finished all the original text and it's all new additional material from here on out. Then I can start the rewrite of THE DREADED PART 8! Dum-dum-dummm...

Got up to about 70 entries of the Diaryland dream journal done. I can only post in the middle of the night else the rest of the time I get a dumb "The servers are too busy; you can upgrade if you don't want to see this message again!" message. It's become a lot more frequent lately. :( I understand the necessity of it, but are there really THAT many people updating their diaries all at once at like seven in the morning on a weekday? If it's only paid members who can post during said times, then aren't the servers not being overtaxed anymore, and isn't the message thus pointless? Or do some nonpaying members get the message while others are freely posting? I can't figure out how it works. I know that they shut down posting for nonpaying members at busy times but I just can't figure out how the server can be so overtaxed if paid members are the only ones posting. It only makes sense if the message appears to only some nonpaying members and not to others, then works in a sort of rotation. Never put that much thought into it before. :/

I think I'm finished here. Gah, I'm so bored.