08-03-03 @ 11:13 am EDT

Sorry I still don't feel like typing up that dialogue thing or a letter...I'm not really depressed, just don't feel like doing anything, even writing. :( I think the pain in my knees is distracting me. The thing is, I just keep hurting them. I hate to say this because they really DO hurt and it really IS disruptive and difficult to deal with, but...well, it's sort of like a self-injurer's dream. Agony without any outward physical symptoms which everybody else notices like bruises or cuts. In fact when my dad first noticed me yelping when trying to get up he demanded, "Have you been hitting your legs again?" and for once I could say "No" and mean it. Nobody but readers of this journal knows I'm not only "exercising" but doing this on purpose, no matter how stupid it is and how much I grind my teeth when doing such simple things as kneeling down to wash my hair in the tub or getting up from bed.

Anyway...in lieu of a real entry I want to share lyrics to my two new favorite radio songs. I'm betting I'll never find them on audiocassette (I can't even find Everything You Want, an album I DO have on tape, on CD at our Wal-Mart!--they have NOTHING by Vertical Horizon there!--how stupid is that??), but if anybody else ever does, and sends 'em to me, I'll luv ya forever. Kidding, ya, I know. Kidding. ^_^

The first is "Rest In Pieces" by Saliva (I can't believe the name of the band that performs this song I love so much is SALIVA! I'd be ashamed just buying the album!! Well, at least it's not Phlegm, but still. >_< ) I love this song because the guy sings with such heartbreak it's believable. And it's probably the only time I've ever heard "depth perception" referenced in popular music, too.

(Remember these lyrics are from Google results and may not accurately reflect the actual lyrics...it's just that I don't have the songs on hand to proof for errors. I shortened the chorus lyrics for this song in case it doesn't repeat as many times as the site says it does, so the chorus may in fact repeat more than this shows.)

REST IN PIECES
Saliva

Look at me
My depth perception must be off again
'Cause this hurts deeper than I thought it did
It has not healed with time
It just shot down my spine
You look so beautiful tonight
Remind me how you laid us down
And gently smiled
Before you destroyed my life

Chorus
Would you find it in your heart
To make this go away
And let me rest in pieces?
Would you find it in your heart
To make this go away
And let me rest in pieces?...

Look at me
My depth perception must be off again
You got much closer than I thought you did
I'm in your reach
You held me in your hands

Chorus to end...

And the second song is the newest one by *gasphuffpantdrool* VERTICAL HORIZON!! They have a new song out FINALLY!! *yee* I still remember my brother telling me their name when I heard one of their songs playing on his digital TV in Georgia in May 2000! (That was also the first and only time I saw the video for Matchbox 20's...or Matchbox Twenty's...whatever...song "Bent." Interesting video.) I wonder if the rest of the album (if it's not a single) is as good?? I wonder if it's even out yet?? If not I wonder when it will be out?? I WANT IT!!

I'M STILL HERE
Vertical Horizon

I found the pieces in my hand
They were always there
It just took some time for me to understand
You gave me words I just can't say
So if nothing else
I'll just hold on while you drift away

'Cause everything you wanted me to hide
Is everything that makes me feel alive

Chorus
The cities grow, the rivers flow
Where you are, I'll never know
But I'm still here
If you were right and I was wrong
Why are you the one who's gone
And I'm still here?

I'm still here

You've seen the ashes in my heart
You smile the widest
When I cry inside and my insides blow apart
I try to wear another face
Just to make you proud
Just to make you put me in my place

But everything you wanted from me
Is everything that I could never be

Chorus

Bridge
Maybe tonight
It's gonna be all right
I will get better
Maybe today
It's gonna be okay
I will remember

I held the pieces of my soul
I was shattered
And I wanted you to come and make me whole
Then I saw you yesterday
But you didn't notice
You just walked away

'Cause everything you wanted me to hide
Is everything that makes me feel alive

Chorus

Chorus Two
The lights go out, the bridges burn
Once you go, you can't return
But I'm still here
Remember how you used to say
I'd be the one to run away?
But I'm still here

I'm still here...

If you ever hear this song on the radio, commence screaming girly manner and throwing your hands up in the air as befits music by Vertical Horizon.

Tar...