11-09-03 @ 10:22 am EST

My jaw locked this morning. LOCKED! I was doing whatever and then all of a sudden, my jaw refuses to move! It was only for a second, granted, and I was so startled I immediately SNAPPED it back into place--but that was AWFUL. >_< It let out this loud CRACK! It didn't hurt, whatsoever. So I guess I'm grateful for that. But if it's turning to locking now, when will it get even WORSE?

I have TMD, in case you didn't know. Temporomandibular disorder. I'm not sure how to explain it as I'm not exactly positive what it is, but it involves the jaw joint--the mandibular joint--being sort of out of sync (sic?) with itself resulting in popping/cracking noises, stickiness, and sometimes even pain. My jaw's been funky on the right side for as long as I can remember, and has always let out various noises at particular times. There's ALWAYS at least a very slight shifting noise in my head when I open and close my jaw. Sometimes when chewing it'll let out these annoying little clicks with each bite. (My dad used to get mad at me about those--AS IF I COULD CONTROL IT!) And sometimes for no real reason I'll just be shutting my mouth or something and--SNAP. It'll sound, to me at least, like a little bone is BREAKING in there! Yet aside from a very brief period in which the side of my jaw hurt very slightly a few years back, it's never given me any real trouble aside from being annoying.

Back then I was still supposed to have insurance, so I begged Ma to take me to my old dentist. I was SO ashamed to go there as I have not kept my teeth in the best shape. (They are awful. Period.) But she had lagged in finally getting me in there (it wasn't important enough, to her), so by the time I got in my jaw barely hurt anymore. Dr. Hardin just palpated it a little bit and told me I probably have TMD, then charged us $50. (Palpating involves much formal schooling, I suppose.) That was what I had already guessed. But at least somebody diagnosed it.

My problem is that I have a crooked jaw. There's this bad overbite on the side and my teeth have never fit (fitted) together correctly. When I open and close my mouth, the joint sort of pops out of place on the right side. You can SEE and feel this on the side of my jaw--it sticks out more on the side. And yes, the TMD test--pressing your fingers to the insides of your ears and opening your mouth and biting down hard--brings a little bite of discomfort. I've been very lucky so far in that it hasn't ever really acted up in all the time I've had it--KNOCK ON WOOD! But that weird locking this morning really worried me. I really do not want to have to go out and wake Ma up some night with my mouth hanging open, because I can't shut it! :(

I'm not helping matters, myself. I have the bad habit of grinding my teeth when angry or stressed, and even when not feeling anything at all. I bite down hard for no reason a lot of the time. (When you spend most of your waking time thinking about and even slipping into the personas of your characters, and talk to yourself a lot, you tend to do this! Believe me!) I compulsively chew on my lips and on the inside of my mouth and run my tongue over my bad upper tooth, all of which involve me moving my jaw around at weird angles. The documentation isn't...crap, I forgot the word I was looking for. The experts aren't in total agreement over what helps or exacerbates TMD (CONCLUSIVE!--that's the word I was looking for, argh), so I don't know if the jaw shifting from side to side is affecting it any, but all seem to be in agreement that gritting the teeth is NOT a good thing. Some sites also say not to open your jaws really wide (what about yawning?--eating a big sandwich?) or to eat hard, crunchy foods (yah, RIGHT!). Some sites say not to shift your jaw from side to side--others say to do so, as that exercises it and makes it stronger. Make up your minds! Some sites say that pain is almost a given at some point in the future, others say that many people live easily with TMD and experience no real problems. Some say laser surgery is the best thing. Others say that's a last resort. Yet others say it should never be needed at all. Even the explanations given (crooked jaw or not crooked jaw?) and the symptoms listed aren't always the same. It's quite frustrating, especially if you HAVE the damn thing. So much for experts!

After unsticking my jaw this morning o_o I stopped and thought about something. All my life, I've suffered from sinus problems. Perpetually stuffy nose (always at least slightly stuffy), and slight headaches which are often alleviated by taking sinus pills. I've noticed that lately my headaches have been more persistent. The other day I took aspirin, then sinus pills, then drank tea in the hopes that maybe the headache was the result of caffeine deprivation. Nothing worked. Ma complained of a persistent headache too, but then again she always has them. Sinus pills USED to help get rid of mine, but the past week they've insisted on sticking around longer than usual. That one day, it was literally only while I was ASLEEP that I wasn't bothered by a headache.

I'm lucky, again, because these are only mild headaches. It's not like I'm sitting here suffering from a migraine! I've always written them off as tension headaches caused by stress and anxiety, and thought of the sinus pills working being merely a placebo effect. But I have to wonder. It's all connected up in the head like that. (Why else do we have ear, nose, and throat doctors?) Could TMD cause persistent sinus problems and headaches?

The headaches are a coming and going thing, but the sinus problem has ALWAYS been there. Remember in an older entry when I even mentioned how sleeping using a certain pillow on the couch resulted in me waking up with my ear plugged? What if all this is because of my dumb jaw?

I don't believe I ever saw mention anywhere of TMD causing sinus problems or headaches, but I seriously wonder about it. Even something like carpal tunnel syndrome can cause back pain if it spreads far enough. Why can't TMD do the same, only a little bit north of the back?

Well, I had other things to talk about but they're not on the same topic and I don't feel like blathering. I really hope my jaw behaves itself from now on; that was freaky! :/