01-20-04 @ 10:54 am EST

Seriously, I am having NO luck with those titles whatsoever.

Anyway. I have some dream stuff to talk about, but that has become so expected in here, I should really talk about something else too. Hm. Well, I got the newest best of Tears For Fears CD a little bit ago. I have their older one, Tears Roll Down, on cassette, and was looking for that, but it's too old. I was surprised Wal-Mart actually had ANYTHING by TFF, but they have ANOTHER best of album, Shout, which has many of the same songs, so I got it. It doesn't have "Elemental" on it, which I like, so I'll eventually have to get the Elemental CD, probably used...and it has a completely different version of "Mothers Talk." I read the liner notes and it mentioned that the version I had on Tears Roll Down was the original, I think, whereas this one was the American remix. They jazzed it up so it would be more accessible to Americans. I had absolutely no clue there were TWO versions of that song, nor that I was always listening to the lesser-known one; I just assumed it was the only version. I actually like the original much more as I'm used to it, but the remix is such that one can like it also; it's very strange to listen to it. Even the vocals are slightly different; weird.

I also learned that Tears For Fears had actually BROKEN UP prior to their Elemental album and that was just HALF of them on that one, still performing under the band name! O_O I figured they weren't really AROUND anymore, but I had no clue they'd broken up before putting out one of their albums! The liner notes to Shout mentioned that they had plans of reconciling in 2000 or some such, so who knows, haven't heard anything new from them yet. But that was a complete surprise as well. That was only HALF of Tears For Fears I was listening to on "Elemental" and "Break It Down Again"!

Oh, and get this, "Shout" is, I think, really about nuclear armament. Huh, I always assumed it was about not allowing yourself to be brainwashed by society or something; bah, was I off.

Well anyway. Now that I've blithered about Tears For Fears and my latest CD, I shall now move on to the dream crap.

I've been obsessed with them lately, but I haven't been updating my Writing.com dream journal. I don't know why, probably because there's no interest in it; it got only one rating, a 3.5 with no comment, which discouraged me so much I just made it unrateable. Actually it pissed me off more than discouraged me, as it didn't look like the person had even read so much as one entry. I still sting from looking at onsite dream journals back during the first incarnation of the Dreamforest and finding one that had like two or three entries. It had the same number of ratings as mine did, and only ONE of those entries was actually a description of a dream. My journal had over a hundred entries at the time. That convinced me I was not one of the "in" people on this site.

Granted, I don't really expect interest in such a journal anyway; dream journals are more for their owners than readers. And I've noticed that I am actually the only one on this site who updated mine with any regularity. I guess I just don't see the point of wasting my time posting in it if it will go unread, poorly rated, and will just take up space I could use for something else. Maybe I'll eventually delete them, or just let them lie fallow (er whatever the word is). Who cares. For anyone who does, the sites the dreams now go on are http://tehuti.dreamjournal.org/ (one LONG page...tried to ask the webmistress to allow for it to break into more than one page, no change yet, *sigh*) and http://tdreamjournal.tripod.com/ (revamped; f**king annoying popups though, when I clearly SELECTED banner ad INSTEAD of popup when registering there--so now I have TWO ugly banner ads AND a popup on each page--lying Tripod bastards!).

Jeez, all that and I haven't even gotten to the point yet. No wonder I don't write in here very much anymore; every time I write a Skew entry I get nothing else done. I am actually only here because updating on the Ameni website has slowed. And sorry for how often I'm using the word "actually" in this entry, no idea what's going on upstairs. O_o

Anyway. Today I wished to discuss the ANIMUS as it appears in dreams! Yes, I am getting all Jungian on your ass. (I'm sorry but I have to laugh...*ROFLMFAO!!* That just sounds funny. *cough*) Now for those of you who do not know...Jung (Carl, that is, if you're on a first-name basis with the dude) had a theory of different ARCHETYPES appearing in our dreams. Basically an archetype is a symbolic image which spans across cultural and time divides and can mean about the same thing no matter whose dream you spot it in. I'm probably way simplifying that or getting it wrong but that's the gist I've gotten from it. Archetypes are perhaps easiest to see in myths and folklore from different cultures, which is probably why I find Jung so appealing, considering I'm big on the whole mythology thing. Some common archetypes would be the Wise Old Man, the Earth Mother, the Trickster, the Child, the Witch, the Seductress, the Hero, etc. Archetypes don't even have to be anthropomorphic, either, and this is where I start to get a little hung up on what counts as an archetype and what doesn't. "Rebirth" is one I have heard of. So I would assume that other cross-cultural myth themes like "the Mystic Quest" or "Coming of Age" etc. would be archetypes as well. Heck, the Flood--or more generally the Destruction of Mankind--could probably count as an archetype, considering how many mythologies have reference to it. Basically, if it's something you can find in just about any myth system, it probably counts as some sort of archetype.

The theory of dream archetypes probably isn't foolproof because what a wise old man means to one dreamer is probably different from what it means to another. But a lot of the time they symbolize the same thing. I'm also rather hung up on which archetypes can appear to which dreamers (for example, do all female archetypal figures in a woman's dream represent her Self, and do all male archetypal figures represent her Animus, and vice-versa with a male dreamer?--or can they symbolize what the archetype itself stands for?--meaning, if I dream of a wise old man, is that what he represents to me, the Wise Old Man and all the qualities he represents, or is he supposed to be my Animus?--no idea), but I prefer not to dwell on that too much; maybe I just think about it too hard. Personally, it seems I could take what I like of Jung and apply it as I see fit, and modify what doesn't suit me. It's all theory, anyway, and every dreamer is different. For now I prefer to believe that some of the hard and fast rules don't always apply--maybe not every female in a woman's dream represents her Self, and not every male her Animus, and maybe her Shadow doesn't have to always be of the same gender that she is, etc.--but who really knows.

One curious thing I read recently concerning the Shadow was that often it is mistaken as somebody of the OPPOSITE sex of the dreamer when it first begins to appear in their dreams, but later on it's made clear that it is in fact of the same sex. I found that interesting. I do understand why the Shadow is considered to be the same gender as it represents just our dark side, everything we reject about ourselves, good and bad--but what if there are masculine parts of yourself, if you're female, that you reject too? I just think the Shadow could be a deeper thing than that. It's such a twisted mixed-up archetype, I feel that perhaps it could appear in many more forms than just someone of the same gender as the dreamer. Who's to say that ANYTHING that repels and disgusts and angers the dreamer no end, male or female, doesn't represent it?

I think I can identify the Shadow in one older dream of mine, "High School Revenge." It seems pretty straightforward. In that dream, I am bullied at school by a female student I am at odds with--she shoves me in the hall and makes a big joke of it. Later on in the dream I meet up with her again--and TRIP her as she walks by. As I say in the dream, I know it's wrong, but it feels so good doing it. Basically I brought myself down to her level. I have not seen that girl in years, but back then she was one of my biggest foes. What better form for the Shadow to take than as a high school bully who I detested for what she did to me? I ended up acting just like her--identifying with the enemy--which is what convinces me that she was a Shadow symbol. I don't act like that in real life, but I know I have the capacity to, and that's what the Shadow tells us about ourselves. We can all become just like what we hate the most.

That's just an obvious Shadow image, however, since she was of the same gender as I am. But I believe that my "Watchers" dreams might be telling me more than that I am just socially anxious. I read somewhere that the dream image of the "Intruder" is a frequent Shadow symbol. It was like a blow across the face. My "Watchers" dreams always inspire SUCH rage and helplessness and anxiety on my part, that I have to wonder if the children who always gather outside my house and peer in me are really a Shadow symbol. They are more than just one figure--and they are of both genders--but they make me feel so angry and helpless, and they are intruders, that it makes me think. They don't seem to symbolize all the things I hate most in other people, such as the bullying of the girl above, but I do have issues with intruding on other people's space--sure, I do it, a lot, but I hate doing it. See how hard it is for me just to ask for help, directly? The Watchers are always rather direct--too much so--and I HATE it. They invade my space and won't leave me alone! A Shadow image? Possibly.

I've also lately been looking at possible symbols of the Self in some dreams. The Self can appear as some sort of mystical symbol--a mandala, perhaps, which itself can be symbolized by such things as circular patterns with a focal point, or even a garden (my "Courtyard In The Swamp"?), or as a holy figure. I'm wondering if the redheaded girl from my recent dream, "Pirates Of Mackinac Island" (see the links above if you want to read it) was a Self symbol. I felt drawn to her for some reason, and she seemed much more comfortable with herself than I would ever be--I envied her. And she seemed upset when I didn't recognize her. The Self is like what we could be if we realized all that we truly are, our full potential; is that what she was?

And what of the "Lady Jesus" who I dreamed of before, who I just took to symbolize my feelings concerning organized religion? (See "Lord Jesus, Herself.") What better way for the Self to show up in the dream of a female than as a well-known religious figure...of the same gender? Jesus is MALE, yet in my dream this particular Jesus was female--and that really caught my attention. Self? Hm.

Well anyway...I also read something recently on another website which made my jaw hit the floor. I read somewhere (I'd give info if I remembered where I read all this stuff!!) that when it comes to order, the Shadow appears much sooner than the Animus/Anima in people's dreams. For some reason it's just supposed to be easier to face the Shadow than the archetype of the opposite sex. The masculine part of a woman, and the feminine part of a man, are just supposed to be much more deeply suppressed than even the Shadow is. This, I do not know if I entirely agree with. Personally I think I'd find it MUCH easier to address the masculine in me than all that stuff that must make up my Shadow! You've seen how I weirdly identify more often with males in writing, right? It's almost like I'm rejecting the FEMININE part of myself as worthless; at least, that's the only thing I've been able to get out of it. Alternate theories welcome. *shrug* But I'm just telling you what I read. Archetypes are supposed to show up in times of stress, when they might serve the greatest function of alerting ourselves to something that's out of balance. So even while a person is eventually meant to accept each of these archetypes and become a greater whole, at which point they are not supposed to appear anymore, they DO still pop up from time to time.

And I am by no means a greater whole, or anywhere NEAR it, so I bet these guys are ALWAYS wandering through my dreams.

Anyway. Bla bla. While reading over how the different archetypes can appear in a person's dreams, I came across THIS bit about the Anima and Animus...and as I said, my jaw just hit the floor.

6b The Unknown Opposite Sex Stranger
When you dream about a totally unknown stranger or someone famous you've never met (i.e. someone you don't know) and this someone is of the opposite sexual gender that you are - the unknown person in your dream is also most often symbolic of an aspect, attitude or quality that is a part of you. Like the shadow, it's a part of you which you've probably been seriously repressing (or ignoring). And this forgotten part of you is tired of being ignored and it's speaking up in your dreams! However, this part of you is even more deeply hidden away than the shadow.

In Jungian terms, this neglected contra-sexual part of your psyche is called either (if you're a heterosexual male) the anima or (if you're a heterosexual female) the animus. On the journey within, the anima or animus are traditionally encountered much deeper within the "unconscious" than is the shadow, and thus they will probably never be completely brought out (and integrated) into your daylight ego consciousness and rationality (i.e. your self-concept of who you are).

...

By anima Jung meant the unconscious feminine component in a man's personality, and by the term animus he designated the unconscious masculine component in a woman's personality. These two terms come from the Latin word animare, meaning "to enliven." This is because Jung felt that these archetypal figures functioned as enlivening souls or spirits to men and women.

If this anima or animus thing is a difficult concept for you to grasp, then let's look at it in a more practical way.

* If you're a heterosexual male who's ever been deeply, madly, wildly in love with a woman - then you've met your anima.
* If you're a heterosexual female who's ever been deeply, madly, wildly in love with a man - then you've met your animus.

http://www.thezodiac.com/thumbrulesix.htm

O_O As soon as I read that I couldn't believe it. I've ALREADY found my Animus...and his name is Damien!!

:O :O :O !!!

I still can't believe it. All this wondering about archetypes, and I have been WRITING about one for half my friggin' life!! He was right there all along! You've seen me blither and blather about him for pages on end, including about why he is the perfect guy, and why he is everything I wish I could be but am not--who would better symbolize my own personal Animus? Good Lord, I can't believe it. Right under my nose the whole damn time. *cries*

To a lesser extent, the same figure shows up in other favorite characters of mine such as Anubis, Upuat, Djuta, Kristeva, etc., but Damien is the one who's always summarized everything I've ever looked for. He's the ONE I have put up on a pedestal and refused to knock down--nobody will ever reach his status, in my mind. Notice I have never even written any EROTICA about him?--that's because it just feels wrong invading his space like that--oh sure, I THINK about it, but I have yet to WRITE any. I just feel I could never write a scene like that worthy enough of him. Gah!! Unbelievable. >_<;;;

Regarding the Animus in my dreams, I fully believe it--I'm sorry, HE--has shown up there as well. I'm thoroughly convinced the "Witch King" from the corresponding dream ("Eyes For The Witch King") was my Animus--he felt dangerous to me, yet I was strongly drawn to him, and DAMN DO I WISH I COULD DREAM ABOUT HIM AGAIN! The mysterious guy in my most recent posted dream, "Tunnel Through The North Tower," could have been my animus, with how I had no clue who he was yet felt drawn to him. Even the "Creepy Knife Guy" ("Tehuti Vs. The Creepy Knife Guy!") could have been my Animus--I didn't exactly feel DRAWN to him, but he was an important, mysterious masculine figure, and what's more he attacked me with a knife...after which I attacked HIM with a knife...how much more can you identify with someone than with that?

I'm willing to bet there are numerous other appearances, also, but those are the three that most readily spring to mind. Two out of the three felt dangerous (Damien is an ex-con with a short fuse), two out of the three I felt drawn to for some reason (need I say why this makes me think of Dami??), two out of the three seemed to really KNOW and understand me as a person (I like to think Dami would be like that); all three of them were mysterious males who I confronted in some direct manner in my dreams. Though the site says the Shadow is likely to appear first, I feel I've already met that part, and it just seems to me that certain archetypes could appear whenever they want, based on what they're trying to tell the dreamer. That doesn't mean the dreamer is ready to FACE them or ACCEPT them, it just means they're there, trying to get attention. So I do think it's possible for them to show up in whatever order is necessary. And maybe even in a form that you wouldn't really expect (such as my Watchers).

Though this is all just theory on my part, and I could be way wrong.

Well, I may have missed something I wanted to talk about here, but it's late, and I have to go now. This has been spellchecked but not proofread, so I shall greatly enjoy coming back and reading this later on and seeing what a total moron I sounded like. Tar...