04-09-04 @ 9:43 am EDT

I'm getting sick and tired of people who pull out totally illogical arguments against or for something in an effort to make themselves and their position look logical. You think people could put more effort into a better argument, or at least admit they have no logical argument to stand on, but apparently not.

I have seen this anti-gay-union "fact" tossed around so much that it's pathetic rather than funny:

"Two men or two women cannot physiologically have children together. Therefore, God did not intend two men or two women to be together."

All right...COMPLETELY IGNORING the whole "What if God didn't even create us?" argument...even if one were to prove God created us after all, this argument is just so inane as it stands. I keep seeing it posted on diary sites as some sort of "AHA! Final argument, I win!" comment. All right, "God didn't intend it" people...if you truly stand by this argument, then that means you must also by default stand by the following arguments. Get ready, I know you won't like this.

God obviously did not intend humans to fly, else we would have been born with wings. Therefore, the next time you are thinking of taking a flight to visit some out-of-state relatives, or to visit some nice location on the other side of the world, you had best tear up your tickets because you will be traveling in sin. God did not intend for there to be airplanes, jets, or helicopters, or even the lowly hang glider.

God obviously did not intend humans to swim underwater for extended periods, or even at water's surface for extended periods, else we would have been born with gills or with enough body fat and flippers to keep us buoyant for days on end. Therefore, do not bother going on that ocean cruise, and do not dare join the Navy. God did not intend for there to be ships, boats, or submarines.

God obviously did not intend humans to run for extended periods of time at a high speed, else we would have been born superior to the cheetah on our feet. Therefore, why bother going to the gas station? God did not intend for there to be automobiles, bicycles, scooters, or even skates or skateboards.

God obviously did not intend humans to be able to communicate across vast distances, else we would have been born with voices loud enough to travel for miles without aid. Therefore, cut your telephone lines, because all that you'll hear on the other end is sin. God did not intend for there to be telephones.

God obviously did not intend humans to make the sounds of music, else we would have been born able to sing like birds or beat our arms against fallen logs like drums or use some other bodily part to make the sound of a keyboard or guitar. Therefore, destroy all your musical instruments, and burn your radios, CDs, and MP3s. God did not intend for us to make music with instruments.

God obviously did not intend humans to see what is going on on the other side of the world at this moment, else we would have been born with some psychic sense (and you know how many Christian churches feel about psychics). Therefore, do not even glance at your television sets, and don't dare go to the den of iniquity that is a movie theater. God did not intend for us to have TVs or movies or DVDs or videos or film of any kind.

God obviously did not intend humans to be able to change their appearances at will, else we would have been born like the chameleon. Therefore, do not set foot in the cosmetics or beauty aisle of any store. God did not intend for us to change our hair color, our eye color, our skin color, nor even the appearance of blemishes upon our faces.

God obviously did not intend us to be able to see in the dark, or to keep ourselves heated, else we would have been born like the cat or the bat, or with fur to cover our entire bodies. Therefore, don't pay your utilities bills the next time they come else you will be contributing to Armageddon. God did not intend for us to use electricity, gasoline, or any other means of generating light and heat.

God obviously did not intend for us to have shelter, else we would have been born like the tortoise, with its home upon its back. Therefore, move out into the wilderness and stand in the snow and rain, or at the most find a decent cave. God did not intend for us to live in houses, apartments, condos, hotels, motels, or even hovels.

Even following the logic of the "two men/two women" comment above...God obviously did not intend for us to be clothed, else we would have been born with clothes upon us. So try to forget that little incident in the Garden of Eden, and get rid of your garments. We weren't born with 'em, so God must not have intended 'em.

"Two men or two women cannot bring a child into the world, therefore, God did not intend two men or two women to be together." So that is the entire argument? If so, then by the same logic, God did not intend us to have or utilize ANYTHING we were not already born with. Also by default, if you are born with a genetic abnormality, or develop some sort of physical ailment at some point in life--forget contact lens or surgery or even glasses for your bad eyes. Forget surgery for your bad back, your bad hip, your bad anything. Forget chemotherapy for your leukemia. Forget even taking an aspirin for your headache. We were not born with the ability to self-heal, therefore, God must not have intended us to get better.

And I CERTAINLY hope that those people who are against two men or two women joining in union because they cannot bear a child are EQUALLY against marriage benefits for sterile and infertile couples...? Because obviously God did not intend THEM to have children, either, and seeing as according to this argument, bearing children is the prime criterion for marriage, they should not be allowed to join in union either. God did not intend it, obviously.

If you hem and haw and attempt to backtrack and say, "Well, God obviously intended all of those other things you listed above! Those are improvements we have come up with on our own over time. It's not the same thing!"...then I certainly do hope that if a lesbian couple should decide to then utilize our God-given modern abilities and take advantage of in-vitro fertilization, or if sometime in the future (horror of horrors) science finally enables a man to give birth...that you will be first in line to say that those couples at last deserve marriage or union rights, because hey, they're just doing what straight people do, after all, and having a baby. (Since that's apparently the only criterion that matters when it comes to who should marry and who should not. Hey, your "two men/two women" argument said it, not me.)

Now...I am not going to sit here and try to convince the anti-gay-marriage or anti-gay-union camp to change their minds. It's pointless; they won't change mine either. But for GOD'S sake...at least come up with a LOGICAL reason to be against it...or at least admit you HAVE no logical reason, you just don't like the idea! Anything is better than making yourself out to be not only a big hypocrite, but a big ignoramus as well. If you must make an argument, make it consistent!

Although I will disagree with them, I believe I can far more respect the person who can admit, "I don't have any reason to dislike gay marriages, I just do," than the person who says, "Two men, two women, not able to have kids, God didn't intend it!"...because as this entry has already shown, in order for that argument to be logical whatsoever, you would not even be here reading this entry, nor typing up your disagreeing opinion in your own diary.

BECAUSE WE WEREN'T BORN WITH COMPUTERS OR THE INTERNET! Therefore it's obvious God didn't intend any of this whatsoever. Log out, disconnect, walk outside, and sin no more. Heathens.

Tar...