03-11-05 @ 9:13 am EST

All right. This is an idea I mentioned briefly in the last entry, and have been thinking more about today. It's sticking with me, so maybe I should look into developing it, if I would ever get the time.

When I was in college Creative Writing class I wrote a novella called "Antakh Of The Apsiu." The assignment was to write a short story; I, of course, wrote a novella. And since we had to read the stupid things to the entire class, mine of course took forever to read. I remember that when I was done there was this big looonnnng pause, and everybody, even the teacher, was staring at me with seeming awe. What a feeling that was. Then the teacher said, "Wow...that was quite an epic...

"...but it was rather long, and not a short story. You might want to look into bla bla bla..." I don't remember what else he said because basically he spent the rest of his talk tearing down what I'd taken so much trouble just to build up. Not because it was poorly written, or grammatically atrocious, or remarkably dull or anything like that, but just because...it wasn't a short story.

That teacher was like that. I remember another scene I wrote which switched POV in the middle--not in any jerky annoying way, but in a sort of "cutover" scene. One character was talking on the phone, then it cut to the other character talking on his end. I saw nothing wrong with it. And what's more it was short! I remember one of the characters was named Puck--it was a scene from my unfinished novel True Believers. When I was finished reading it both the teacher and one of the students said something like, "I wonder why...?" I can't remember what they wondered but the way they phrased it, I thought they were asking why Puck's name was Puck. o_o I started stammering and trying to remember why I had named my character that when the teacher interrupted me to say, "No, I was wondering why you switched to the other character in the middle of the scene." So of course, I felt even MORE embarrassed. "That sounds like a television technique," he went on. "Flashy for TV, but not good for a written scene...try to stick with one character..."

That comment of course has merit, but what's so bad about using well-known TV techniques in writing? I can visualize lots of things as I write--I can hear dialogue in my head. Blame it on TV if you wish, but TV's influence is here to stay, so why not use it when I can? Visualizing things in my writing easily, of course I will occasionally use that. As much as I detest most switching POV right in the middle of a scene, I stand by that technique as I used it right there. (Even though I bet I would be horrified if I were to read back through True Believers by now. Gargh!)

I remember this same teacher taking me to task for using the word "seem." I did not use this word a lot, I just used it when it was warranted--when something seemed. "Something doesn't 'seem,'" he lectured me. "It either is, or it isn't. Don't use that word. Use something more concrete."

Um...what? What the hell world does this guy come from?? Something either IS or ISN'T? Well, if that's so, then why does anybody bother writing suspense stories, where LOTS of things seem and turn out to not be what they seem? I'm certain an awful lot of mystery writers would have a bone to pick with him for that remark!

LOTS of things in reality, and even MORE things in writing, can just seem, especially when you're NOT writing from OMNISCIENT POINT OF VIEW thus your character CANNOT know everything for certain--and it would be misleading of the narrator to say something IS, when it isn't, just because the character THINKS it is. So you have to use a word like seem. I did cave to pressure and rewrote that item, substituting the word appear. But no, I could not even get away with that--he spotted it immediately. "'Appear' is just another way of saying 'seem,'" he lectured me. "Don't use that word..."

I remember him taking another student to task for using the word infinitesimal to describe something very tiny. "It's such a big hard word," he said.

"Well," the student stammered, "I was trying to convey the feeling of something very small. Like, a tiny toy boat in a gigantic ocean."

"Why not use that?" he said. "Or you could use a simpler word like merely small..."

WTF WAS WRONG WITH THIS GUY?! EVERYBODY knows what "infinitesimal" means! DUH! I happen to think that word conveyed a lot more of the writer's intent than a stupid generic word like SMALL! What's more, the mood of her piece would have been ruined by using a cliche like "a tiny toy boat in a gigantic ocean." I thought we were supposed to AVOID cliches, weren't we? So now we must use stupid small words to get our points across? When I think of small I think of...small. Little. That's it. When I think of infinitesimal I think of microscopically, insubstantially tiny--in short--a tiny toy boat in a gigantic ocean. Only without the lame simile. To summarize all of this...although he meant well, I really think that teacher was a total moron.

And all he managed to do to me in that creative writing class was totally dampen my enthusiasm for writing. I did not learn a single useful thing from that class, and EVERY SINGLE THING I wrote had some stupid-ass problem with it that didn't help me improve my actual writing any. Did his lectures to not use words like seem and infinitesimal help me any? No. I still use those words, and everybody else does too. In fact I have never heard any OTHER writing instructor lecture against a word like seem!

But what hurt the most was that pause of awe following the reading of my novella...and then him promptly taking me to task for not writing a short story. I might not have realized it at the time...but that was probably when I learned that I was just not MEANT to write short stories. And that's what was wrong with that class, and most other writing classes I had. The writing of something longer than a short story was always frowned upon. Novels were nice, but not in the scope of the class, for obvious reasons. Novellas, however, were a total pariah, to be banned and shunned. I did learn one thing in that class--to detest the novella, the bastard child of the novel and the short story. Too short to be one, too long to be the other. Can't be enjoyed over a period of a few weeks with a good bookmark; can't be enjoyed in one sitting. And do you know, online has not taught me much different. People see that 50kb+ thing sitting there, not divided into convenient chapters, and bolt. Novellas are HATED.

But I personally have grown to care about the poor novella. Like it's the novella's fault that it's got too much characterization and plot buildup to be a short story--and too little to be a novel? The way I see it the novella should be celebrated for bridging the gap between two extremes. It's like a short story that gives you so much more--or a novel that is much easier to digest. Why can't more people learn to treasure the poor novella?

Wow, what did this have to do with my idea?? o_O Well, as I said...the reading of my novella for the Creative Writing class was followed by that pause, and those stares, and I felt so GOOD for a brief, fleeting moment, because everybody seemed so awed that I had written such an epic. And then...the teacher just goes and rains on that parade by telling me it was nice but way too long. I know the assignment asked for a short story and I accept that I failed at that. But he did not have to go and make it seem like I should be ashamed just because I SPEND MORE TIME AND CARE ON CHARACTERIZATION AND PLOT THAN MOST OTHERS DO.

In short, he didn't have to make my novella feel like crap to me just because it didn't fit the scope of the assignment. Cripes! Sorry I WROTE too much for a writing class!

I put the novella away in utter disappointment, ashamed with myself that I just could not write a short story. Surprise surprise, AFTER coming online, and being out of college for years, did I finally manage to produce a few short stories; but for the most part when I set out to write such things, they eventually turn into novellas. My latest attempt, "The Prize," turned out about 60kb long. *sigh* And even an item I KNEW would turn into a novella, "Aku The Atrocious," is already running over 100kb. >_< I can't help it. The novella is the writing form I seem to be best at. (Serials? Well, what is a serial but a novella that just WILL NOT DIE? You get the picture.)

Cripes, almost every standalone chapter in the Ameni Chronicles could count as a novella in and of itself, even!

Well...back to the point, which had very little to do with novellas, sorry! o_o; "Antakh Of The Apsiu," disappointment that it was, was shelved for years, then I lost it. I found it maybe a year or so ago and browsed but didn't read it. By then I had learned some more about my Apsiu characters and decided that it would just be best to completely rewrite the story, from scratch. (The original version as I recall it had an Apsiu king. Yagh!!) This I started to do...got about 80kb through it before stalling out and losing interest. CRIPES the damn thing was turning into a NOVELLA again! >_< That thing has been sitting in my port unfinished for months upon months, probably years by now. I did take a glance at it a few times in the hopes of picking it back up...but AGAIN, my ideas have changed so much, that it's horribly outdated! By now if I want to write it I would probably have to do so from scratch...again. *cries*

And since it's a story that takes place over such a huge amount of time...it would turn into an even more horrendous novella, now that my writing style in this storyline has grown so wordy. Take a look how leisurely most of the TAC chapters run, with all the dialogue and chatter. I don't do that so much in my Manitou Island writing. Plus my MI characters don't quite have the freedom to chat about such nice things like sex and drinking and bodily functions. O_o In short (if there is such a thing for me), "Antakh Of The Apsiu," if it was long before, would probably be WAY longer NOW.

And the novella of merely 50kb is despised enough as it is! Up until "Aku," I think the longest novella I had was "Kebehut," which is about 100 or 120kb. Ugh. "Antakh" would definitely top that.

Running out of ideas and getting bored of my writing made me wonder about trying to pick up "Antakh" again, but the thought of writing it in novella form scares me. As much as I like the novella, it's too restricting sometimes, especially when the story runs over a period of years--"The Prize" runs so long because it happens over a period of weeks, and "Aku" I will have to CUT OFF prematurely at the end, otherwise it would cover a period of months! >_< ("Aku" the second? Who knows by now...) Yet I don't feel there's quite enough to "Antakh" to call for a full-fledged serial along the lines of TAC or RTMI. (I do not even know if TAC will ever HAVE an ending!! Isn't that a scary thought?? Eegh!!) So the idea of a mini-serial came to mind...an idea I've never really considered before.

(I can just hear my Creative Writing teacher throwing a fit right now.)

I think "Antakh" would make for a better miniseries than novella, short story, novel, or serial. I don't know if it would run long enough to warrant a novel (though it could, who knows); I don't have the patience to turn it into a gigantic serial; and it would definitely be too long to be one of the other two. A miniseries? Considering that it's covering a distinct time period in Apsiu history, that would fit.

Anyway, on to the idea. The "legend" of Antakh is told very briefly in TAC, Part 19. Basically, he was an Apsiu who was raised by a human after his tribe was massacred by the human's village, in retribution for their frequent raids upon humans. He had wings, but could not fly, and so was being raised as a Moru when he was rescued from the slaughter and raised then under human ways. In my old version of events, he set out as an adult to free the other Moru from slavery, but I'm thinking of amending that. In any case, he masqueraded as a Kana among an Apsiu tribe, and passed as one quite well; in the meantime he spoke secretly with some of the Moru and began to incite them to rise against their masters. Somehow it was proven that he could not actually fly (I remember in the original novella he was made to (dis)prove his ability by jumping from a scaffolding, though the exact reason { i}why he did this escapes me), and just as the Kana were about to set upon him in a rage, he rallied the Moru to his defense, and they overcame the Kana and broke away from the tribe, escaping into the desert to start their own settlement. Antakh became their reluctant leader, and over time the tribe grew in numbers as more Moru, maimed Kana, and Kana who simply did not like the caste system decided to join. Eventually the tribe split into numerous tribes which scattered throughout the western oases, and remained in constant conflict with the regular Apsiu tribes, earning the name of the Free Apsiu. They do not recognize the caste system, do not own slaves, and for the most part do not subjugate their women, though women of course seem to occupy a slightly inferior status to men. (What can you do, it was ancient times.) Antakh eventually died (in the out-of-continuity novel The Rebel Prince, he was murdered by a Kana mob--see "*")--though in the actual timeline of events I do not know how he died), but the Free Apsiu lived on, and continued their constant wars with the Kana. They show up eventually in TAC, though they never play a substantial role in it, at least not for a very long time to come.

I was thinking about a miniseries focusing on Antakh's birth, childhood, his rescue from the massacre of his tribe, his growing up under a human's care, learning about his people, leaving to join them (as I think his new motive for doing so will be), learning the reality of what they're like, his motivations for rebellion, his interactions with the other Kana, his personal conflicts of interest, his interactions with the Moru, the rebellion itself, and the days following the formation of the Free Apsiu and the difficulties they face; that could make for one whomping miniseries. And now that I'm outed as a writer of things higher rated than PG-13, I could feel free to make it as gory and violent as I want. I don't think it would be anywhere NEAR TAC at least in terms of sex (though there would have to be some somewhere, right??), but I can easily imagine the violence getting close to TAC's level. The massacre of Antakh's tribe, and the things he would have to go through to ensure the safety of the Free Apsiu (good way to develop him as a flawed character, BTW), would be graphic enough.

Plus Antakh has always been this rather dull, goody-two-shoes character of mine...he's dreadfully dull in Horus. The thing I like most about writing TAC is how flawed everybody is. To summarize, people actually do things like FART and PUKE and HIT EACH OTHER and do other even less appealing things in that story; unlike my other characters. I have the utterly detestable Sut'khut, who still has just enough humanity to ensure the safety of a female Moru (who he wishes he could have as his own, no less, and by "have" I do not mean merely own); I have the utterly upstanding Khanef, who still has just enough selfishness to almost take that same female as his own mate when she does not belong to him. (Almost.) Then I have other things like otherwise good Kana caught in bad situations--I was just browsing the River Tribe battle yesterday and came across the deaths of Yekh'ef and Hesi, two goodhearted Kana of the River Tribe, the former of whom was killed by Lieutenant Resikh, a goodhearted Kana of the Great Red Tribe...because Yekh'ef was on his way to kill Mahakhi, the (basically) goodhearted general of the Great Red Tribe, because Mahakhi was getting ready to kill Sut'khut, who was pretty much the only scuzzy character (besides Bakh'asu) in the entire fight! Hesi is killed on his way to help his father Yekh'ef...I made quite a point of showing that it was Resikh (a pretty nice guy) who killed Yekh'ef (who in earlier chapters was shown to be a pretty nice guy), because things like that happen in real life, in wartime. That "enemy" you just shot could have been the upstanding, kindhearted father of three kids and friend of many, but since you met him in a war, you wouldn't know that, would you? (Resikh is also a lot like Yekh'ef's other son, Meteri, and I feel that he and Yekh'ef would have gotten along pretty well...if they hadn't met in the middle of a battle!) Well, you get the picture. Everybody in TAC is way imperfect, and that's part of the fun in writing it.

Antakh was not such a fun character to write about. Now that I'm free to put in all that kind of stuff, though, maybe I could make him more fun. Give him a bad side, or a nasty streak, or have him make a terrible judgement call. In any case it would probably turn out better than the crap pile that is the college version of "Antakh Of The Apsiu," or the eeehh that is the unfinished Writing.com version of "Antakh Of The Apsiu."

Wow, did this go on long. I'm glad I didn't share the ideas I'd been thinking up for Manitou Island. o_o; I do not know if or when I would ever start such a project, or if I should, but by now I'm seriously thinking about it. OH! I forgot the timeline I intended to post. Crap. >_< Well, to try to keep it short, Antakh's timeline is maybe a couple of hundred years before TAC, so there would be no overlap between him and that story's characters, probably fortunately. In my timeline of events it went something like this...

* During the reign of Osiris, Set leaves Kemet, and travels down south out of the country. He has Khnum create the Apsiu in his image.
* Set returns to Kemet with the Apsiu forces.
* With the aid of the Apsiu, Set kills Osiris and overtakes Kemet, thus beginning a reign of approximately twenty years (Horus is nineteen in my story when he sets out to take the throne back), though with the wonky way time was back in those days, the actual timespan could have been much longer; *shrug.*
* During Set's reign, the Apsiu rule over the city and multiply; they begin separating into bands, or "tribes," and moving across the land, probably first in their mandatory interactions with humans, then later on their own. They set up their own semi-permanent settlements.
* Seeing as Antakh appears as an adult, already with the fully formed Free Apsiu, in Horus...time must DEFINITELY not be linear in this story. Antakh's tribe is massacred sometime during the reign of Set, and he is taken to be raised by a human.
* Antakh grows up during the reign of Set and frees the Moru, and moves off into the western oases to settle; he's been out there long enough for his legend to spread, by the time Horus arrives, "nineteen years" after the creation of the Apsiu. (See what I meant about time? Aiee!)

So...it looks like this entire story takes place during the reign of Set. Hm. Interesting. Set never enters into TAC because by then he's moved off into Celestial Kemet and has practically no ties left to his creation--many of the Apsiu in the story even express an agnostic view that he might not have existed in the first place. (I'm planning on introducing a "Festival of Set," complete with priests, much later in the series, but it's a purely religious angle and Set still does not participate. Sorry!) I wonder if there would be a way to introduce him into "Antakh" or not. At the moment it sounds like it would be clunky, since he had his own thing going on at the time (keeping a tight hold on Kemet!), and I can't think of what he would have to do with Antakh--aside from the Apsiu helping him keep his hold on Kemet, Set never really cared WHAT they did in their spare time, and didn't give a rat's ass about the caste system and Kana vs. Moru or whatnot. So...I guess I have to think about that. Hm.