Skew: I claim this journal for New France!

P Skew P

2005-04-09 - 9:36 a.m.

:(

04-09-05 @ 9:36 am EDT

My writing feels like it's been sucking lately. I can't seem to get anything to want to come. :( I feel like writing when I'm not writing, but as soon as I get to the computer, all I feel like doing is just sitting playing a game I don't even like anymore. I did recently finish two parts of TAC and finished another one up today, but I'm starting to tire of working on it so much...and RTMI has been stuck forever. 6kb for Part 113. I got it up to 11-something this morning, but it took so long and it feels so stupid and boring. It took me all morning too to finish TAC:44, from like 81kb to 85kb. Why does it take me so long to do so little nowadays? I used to easily type up about 20kb a day. Now I'm lucky if I get to 10. And even if I do write a halfway decent amount, it still feels like it's all just drek, and took me way too long to write it. -_-

Even coming in here to type this makes me feel guilty. Like I should be doing something a lot more important or useful. What tiny bit of writing I manage to get done feels so trite and dull and stupid now. Like I could do so much better.

But it's not like I HAVE anything else to do! What do you do when the one thing you like is starting to tire you? It all used to come so easy and feel so inspiring. One could say, maybe I just need to take a break from it because I'm burning out or something--? But then what? I never burned out from writing before. Since I got into the habit of doing what a writer should do--writing EVERY DAY--I feel dreadfully guilty if I don't get SOME writing done every day...so now, I can either feel guilty, or bored and pointless. I hate this. For a while there, I was actually doing much better than usual, and now it just feels like uninspired crap. -_-

I am yesterday; I know tomorrow.

<- I Suck. No More. Go Away. - Great Lynx & Little Thunder ->