04-18-05 @ 2:14 am EDT

The page cannot be found. Ever stop to think that maybe the Page doesn't WANT to be found? Ever think that maybe the Page just doesn't like you? If you didn't like someone, you wouldn't want them to find you, would you? Well maybe poor Page feels the same way. Maybe the Page thinks you're an insensitive jackass and is doing everything within its power to make SURE you don't find it. You dumbass.

Ever stop to think that maybe the Page is just shy? And here you are, clicking refresh like there's no tomorrow, when all the Page wants is to be left in peace. Ever think that you might be bothering the poor shy Page and the Page thinks you are some sort of creepy psycho stalker with your mouse positioned just over the refresh button? You bastard.

Ever consider the possibility that perhaps the Page wants to get to know you before committing to anything? That maybe the Page is old fashioned and doesn't believe in displaying itself on the first click? And here you are clicking the poor modest Page all over with your dirty filthy mouse. What sort of tramp do you think the Page is? You faithless lusting heathen.

Ever think that maybe the Page has a moral objection to the content you are trying to display? It would be just like you to be surfing porn and to be forcing poor innocent Page to display such filth. Just perhaps you are humiliating the poor Page by making it show you that horrendous stuff? Ever stop to think that maybe the Page believes you should burn in Hell for your preferences? You pervert.

Ever consider that maybe the Page is having a bad day and just wants you to leave it alone until tomorrow? Maybe it has a pimple on its nose, or bad hair, or a cold sore? Maybe it went out drinking too late last night with all its friends and just needs some extra sleep to get rid of the headache. And here you are, clicking REFRESH REFRESH REFRESH like mad and cursing at the poor Page which can only cringe and hide itself. You may as well bang cymbals over its head, you impatient cretin.

Ever wonder that maybe the Page is in the witness protection program and with every mouse click you could be putting its poor life in danger? What about the lives of its wife and all its little Page children? Have you any idea of the horrors they have gone through? It would be just like you not to think of something like that, you moronic scuzzball. If the Page dies because of you, I hope you'll be happy. You'll get the joy of clicking on the poor Page one day and realizing that this time, THE PAGE IS NOT COMING BACK. EVER.