04-24-05 @ 9:08 am EDT

Last week, the temperature was regularly in the sixties and seventies. There was one day when it was nearly eighty degrees, and I actually opened the window to WARM UP the house so the furnace wouldn't have to run; the thermostat jumped from 72 to 74. The grass is popping out and the trees are just starting to bud at last.

Yesterday and today, it is freezing and blowing snow, and that grass and those buds are covered up now. And the furnace is running and running--WHEN I go down and force it to turn itself on. -_- I don't think I ever remember a "winter storm" coming so late in the year. We did have snow in JUNE once, but that's all it was, a flurry. This has been ongoing for two days now, and it's very windy, and just plain miserable. Before this the weathermen kept calling for thunderstorms and they kept missing us, and I was peeved; I wish the snowstorm would have missed us, but here it is.

I hope it doesn't hurt the trees or anything. I've been looking at their branches every day hoping for little things to pop out.

I'm likely going to end up burning a few bridges today. But for once, it's not as if I didn't try to keep them standing. I did try, for a very long time, but I'm simply tired of waiting to see if they will ever be crossed or not. I do not think it is unreasonable for me to get tired of waiting, since everyone else does, eventually. I fail to see why I should be the ever-patient, ever-waiting exception, while everyone else harps at me for taking my time. It does not work both ways. It's time I stood up and realized that.

Truthfully, I think that waiting, and hoping, hurts me more than learning and accepting the truth, that nobody will ever cross those bridges.

It's a shame though, because I really did want those bridges to keep standing. Otherwise I wouldn't have waited so long. But I'm only human, and it's stupid to keep watch at an abandoned bridge. Especially all by myself, after the people I've been waiting for have apparently moved on to someone else's bridge. I'm tired of being stupid, too.