05-25-05 @ 9:11 am EDT

I've been keeping a writing log since mid-October 2004. I started posting it to LJ a while back but couldn't gather up the initiative to continue; who reads such dull things anyway, right? Plus it was wasting my time to post it there. I still keep the dumb thing offline for whatever stupid reason and the file has gotten long. There's no way in hell I'm going to post the entire thing here, but this is what the month of May looks like so far, just so you get the gist. Whenever I'm feeling poorly about my writing (which is almost always, now), it shows up in the log. (Though in truth, compared to other months, it looks like I toned it down for this month, which has been one of the most awful in quite a while.) Likewise when I don't write more than at least 10kb a day, that shows too. This is the dumb stuff I do when I'm offline.

5/1/05

Proofed 1800 words of TAC:47.

Got RTMI:120 up from 10.4 to 23.3kb and ALMOST done, but am petering out.


5/2/05

Proofed RTMI:89 (23kb).

Got RTMI:120 up from 23.3 to 24.3kb and done. Not that anybody will ever care.

Started RTMI:121, got it up to 9.51kb. Not good but who cares.


5/3/05

Proofed 1900 words of TAC:47.

Proofed RTMI:90 (22kb).

Got RTMI:121 up from 9.51 to 14.3kb. *sigh* -_-

Got TAC:48 up from 55.8 to 62.2kb. Guess I'm not doing well today either.


5/4/05

Proofed 3500 words of TAC:47; 6600 more to go.

Proofed RTMI:91 (19kb).

Got TAC:48 up from 62.2 to 68.1kb and done.

Got TAC:49 up from 25.1 to 40kb. *sigh*


5/5/05

Proofed almost 3000 words of TAC:47; 3600 more to go.

Proofed RTMI:92 (24kb).

Got TAC:49 up from 40 to 53.2kb.


5/6/05

Finished proofing TAC:47.

Proofed RTMI:93 (30kb).

Got TAC:49 up from 53.2 to 63.2kb.


5/7/05

Proofed a couple of short dreams, and a couple of Black Binder scenes (17kb and 11kb).

Got TAC:49 up from 63.2 to 71.8kb and done.

Got TAC:50 up from 41 to 45.5kb. *sigh* -_-

Got RTMI:121 up from 14.3 to 19.4kb. -_-


5/8/05

Proofed 3100 words of TAC:48; 8700 more to go.

Proofed a BB scene (20kb).

Got RTMI:121 up from 19.4 to 27.7kb. P. will never read it. I write now only because I know nothing else to do.

Got TAC:50 up from 45.5 to 53kb.


5/9/05

Proofed 4300 words of TAC:48; 4300 more to go.

Proofed RTMI:94 (29kb).

Got RTMI:121 up from 27.7kb to something which I didn't take note of; after formatting it is now 31.4kb.

Got TAC:50 up from 53 to 62.3kb. *sigh* -_-


5/10/05

Finished proofing TAC:48.

Proofed RTMI:95 (25kb, I think).

Got TAC:50 up from 62.3 to 65.5kb; not getting much done because of a stupid distraction outside. >:/ Maybe I'll work on some TAC essay or something which doesn't count. *sigh* -_-

Hm. Think I wrote about 13kb of an essay...blah. That's all.


5/11/05

Proofed the rest of my dreams.

Proofed RTMI:96 (37kb).

Got TAC:50 up from 65.5 to 79.6kb.


5/12/05

Proofed 3800 words of TAC:49; 8600 more to go.

Proofed RTMI:97 (24kb).

Started RTMI:122, got it up to 14kb.


5/13/05

Proofed 5500 words of TAC:49; 3000 more to go.

Proofed RTMI:98 (36kb).

Got TAC:50 up from 79.6 to 88.2kb. *sigh* -_-


5/14/05

Finished proofing TAC:49.

Got TAC:50 up from 88.2 to 88.7kb and done.

Got TAC:51 up from 22.3 to 27kb. Guess I'm getting zilch done today. -_-


5/15/05

Proofed 1770 words of TAC:50; have a feeling today will not be a productive day. -_-

Got RTMI:122 up from 14 to 30.7kb and done.


5/16/05

Proofed 3700 words of TAC:50; 9900 more to go.

Proofed RTMI:99 (24kb).

Got TAC:51 up from 27 to 41.7kb.


5/17/05

Proofed 3300 words of TAC:50; 6600 more to go.

Proofed RTMI:100 (27kb).

Got TAC:51 up from 41.7 to 53.8kb. Not doing as well lately as I used to; down from around 20kb a day to about 10kb or fewer. -_-


5/18/05

Proofed 3100 words of TAC:51; 3500 more to go.

Proofed RTMI:101 (25kb, I think).

Got TAC:51 up from 53.8 to 63.5kb. -_-

Started RTMI:123, got it up to 2.7kb. Blah. At least I wrote 10kb total. *sigh*


5/19/05

Finished proofing TAC:51.

Proofed RTMI:102 (24kb).

Got TAC:51 up from 63.5 to 74.2kb.


5/20/05

Bad day. Proofed RTMI:103 (24kb).

Got RTMI:123 up from 2.7 to 13.5kb.


5/21/05

Not such a bad day, but a bad day for writing; only got RTMI:123 up from 13.5 to 23.5kb.


5/22/05

Got RTMI:123 up from 23.5 to 30.9kb and done.

Started RTMI:124, got it up to 13.4kb.


5/23/05

Got TAC:51 up from 74.2 to 79.6kb and done.

Proofed RTMI:104 (22kb).

Got TAC:52 up from 23.4 to 35.2kb.


5/24/05

Proofed almost 3100 words of TAC:51; 11,100 more to go.

Proofed RTMI:105 (36kb).

Barely any time for writing. -_- Got TAC:52 up from 35.2 to 46.8kb. *sigh*


5/25/05

Proofed 5400 words of TAC:51; 5600 more to go.

(Cont....)

You'll note I count dreams in proofing, but not in typing; I don't count essays and miscellaneous stuff as writing (somewhere in here I started on a character profile of Det. Reichert but didn't count it); and I stick to proofing RTMI on the weekdays, when I can be alone. I usually proof (stuff other than RTMI) early in the mornings, then proof a chapter of that after getting offline for the day (around 11 AM), then try to work on my writing, TAC or RTMI, whichever I'm more in the mood for. (Occasionally, if neither of them is "coming," or if I have another, better idea in mind, I'll work on that instead.) If NO regular writing comes to me, then I fudge it and work on an essay or miscellaneous item of no worth. If I've just finished proofing a long (+26kb) chapter of RTMI, then it can cut into my writing time. I sometimes write in the morning (between 6-8 AM), though lately I've been using this time to print chapters of RTMI as they're proofed, chapters of TAC as they're finished, and to proof TAC itself; today I proofed part of TAC and am now wasting my time writing this. My moods seem to shift with the times--there was a time when I would read and relax at this time, then write later in the morning; then my mood shifted so I wrote exclusively early in the morning, and spent the late morning reading and relaxing; now it's kind of halfway divided between the two, except there's no more relaxing; no time for it. I have yet to get out of the house to take a walk down the road just because I want to finish proofreading so many things, and I feel utterly awful if I don't get SOME writing done every day, even if it is crappy. (So you see how writing has become more of a compulsion than anything. I still like DOING it, but most of the time I really see it as a waste when I could be walking down the road or reading a book or...sleeping, even. But that's been covered ad nauseam in previous entries.)

I like to hope that as soon as RTMI is fully caught up and proofed (I should proof Part 106 today, if I don't fall into a lousy mood before then, that is), I'll at last have a little more time to go for a walk maybe, though knowing me I'll probably find another way to occupy that time--proofing my short stories and novellas that were never properly proofed, working still on TAC, writing more RTMI, catching up on my dreams project, etc.--the simple fact that I WRITE EVERY DAY pretty much ensures that free time will never be there. I hardly have any free time because of this dumb hobby. I even regularly miss sleep getting to bed late, because I HAVE to write a little bit more to make it a decent amount done for the day; and I feel disgusted with myself if I don't write that much. Stupid, I know. Still, I used to get NO writing done for days at a time, until I convinced myself that if I WANTED to get anything done, I had to SIT DOWN AND DO IT. I had to write EVERY SINGLE DAY. No matter how little, I had to make myself do it. Well, I got into the habit, and eventually it figured out to between 10-20kb a day (I don't count words since viewing the HTML file in IE6 reveals only kb count), and now if I don't meet that quota, and especially if I don't get anything done AT ALL, I feel like utter crap. Nice, huh?

So now you see how I waste away my mornings.