07-15-05 @ 9:34 am EDT

AKA, "I Never Promised You A Horny Bisexual Woman."

My ad, on a penpal site:

Looking for people who WRITE!

Posted by: [alias withheld--AKA me] on Jul. 9 2005, 2:56 pm
Country: United States

Age : 28
Gender : Female
Text : Looking for people who MEAN IT WHEN THEY SAY THEY WILL WRITE BACK!

I'm intensely interested in writing fantasy/mythology fiction (some adult), & think it might be nice if somebody into the same thing would drop me a line. Maybe we could become critique buddies? :)

Interests: Fantasy writing/reading (NOT LOTR-type stuff--but original/mythological fantasy), Egyptian/Ojibwa (Chippewa) mythology, furry/anthro writing, yaoi writing (NOT fanfics), Mackinac Island/Michigan, supernatural, occult, dreams & dream interpretation, abnormal psychology, journaling, Earth-based spirituality, etc.

Looking for FEMALE e-pals only (& maybe eventually snail-mail penpals, if you're in the US) with similar age & interests, especially in writing & mythology. Good grammar/spelling is a BIG plus! (I can be picky when critiquing.)

Turnoffs: Fundamentalism, homophobia, racism, excessive religiosity, tactlessness, etc. I also don't write well about kids, work, celebrities, politics, etc. because I have no experience with those things, sorry. I'm also very shy (social anxiety, depression, OCD) & longwinded.

All mail I've gotten has been from guys or people without much in common, so please keep in mind I may not reply if we don't "click." But if you think along the same lines as this ad...& especially if you write fantasy/mythology & like to read it too...then please write!

Reply I got today:

From: [alias withheld] To: [me]
Date: Jul. 15 2005, 6:58 am
Subject: [site withheld] Reply to AD#24458 (Looking for people who WRITE!)

Message:
Damn. I just wanted to get laid but you want a mind **** in the biggest way. Love sci fi but not to the extent that I am going to critique it. Takes all the fun out of it. Why do you quasi intellectuals always have to ruin the fun for the rest of us.

My response:

From: [me] To: [alias withheld]
Date: Jul. 15 2005, 2:19 pm
Subject:Re: [site withheld] Reply to AD#24458 (Looking for people who WRITE!)

Message:
Why do you non-intellectuals have to bother us when we clearly say what we're not looking for.

Think of the time you wasted replying to my ad to tell me that you didn't like my ad, when you could have been off...replying to someone else's ad! Wonders! Maybe you should try that!

And please do not waste my time again.

I went and looked at this user's profile. I was SURPRISED to learn that it was in fact a female. (Sorry guys--but I'm not used to getting such an attitude from females--nor being told that they want to get laid by me!) She's apparently a bisexual cruising the site for male and/or female partners to have a fling with. Also surprisingly, her own ad on the site reads intelligently and politely, which is why I am all the more steamed and baffled by her asinine behavior toward ME.

Nowhere in my ad did I mention "sci-fi," did I? Where did that come from??

And where did I proclaim myself "intellectual"? This is just like in school, where people thought I must be a Goth just because I liked ancient Egypt, or Yahoo! Groups, where people invited me to "Intellectual" Groups just because I write and I like psychology and stuff. Where the hell do these people come up with these things??

I know I should not have replied to her (I didn't even bother with the married guy who wanted to flirt with married women), but I do not understand the lengths people go to sometimes just to let others know what DUMBASSES they are. She clicked my ad--she saw that we were not compatible. 99.9% of SMART, RATIONAL people--? Would CLICK BACK AND FIND ANOTHER AD. That's what *I've* been doing for over a month now. No, this person...decides to click the mail icon...and take the time to type up an insulting response...and mail me...to tell me...THAT SHE DIDN'T LIKE MY AD. And not only that, but I'm "ruining" it for her! ???

Cripes, WOMAN, according to your own ad you have had 38 responses so far--I have had FIVE. Why the hell did you decide to waste your time and mine today by mailing ME? You're female--you're bisexual--you're looking for a fling. Trust me--IF YOU WAIT LONG ENOUGH, THEY WILL COME.

Meanwhile, why don't you let QUASI-INTELLECTUALS like me just sit and wait for REAL replies? Of which we do not get NEARLY as many as horny bisexual women looking for a fling.