09-22-06 @ 7:29 am EDT

I finished Pt. 155 at last and started Pt. 156. 11.63kb written! I can't crow or feel terribly proud since I'm of the camp that writes for itself yet still wants readers (sorry...I'm selfish that way)...I was going to say, "Well, at least I'm writing again," but now even that seems stupid. :/ Cripes, I can make anything sound pessimistic. Well, I wrote today. Take that as good or bad or pointless or whatever. *shrug*

Not sure how long it'll last, since the story's still pretty convoluted...and they all have to head west to reach the Great Plains, and the North Wind has to keep trying to stop them, and I have to keep it interesting while they're wandering around...as well as continue trying to figure out just what the hell is exactly going on for myself...

Oddly, I found the biggest error right in Part 155...the part I left off on to take notes over a month ago. Basically, a character was claiming knowledge she didn't have yet and was making an important discussion out of it. I think I fixed that up by adding a paragraph and tweaking it a bit, and got started on Part 156...I hope most of the other errors and such I found were small enough to work their own way out. The story's so long I can't really be sure though. I guess somebody else will find out if they can ever read the entire mess. :/ But I thought that was kind of odd that the biggest error occurred in the very part where I made myself stop. I wonder if maybe my subconscious picked up on something being amiss and that's why I got stuck...? Though it could just be me, having trouble with a gargantuan story...

Did you see CSI last night? Cirque Du Soleil? That was their Ka performance! I have that CD! I know that song they were playing throughout the whole beginning sequence! "Battlefield"! That's the first I've ever actually seen of any Cirque performance. Looks kind of abstract. That was pretty cool. The rest of the episode was rather dumb though. What the hell did John Mayer have to do with anything? It's like they just whipped the show together and stuck him in at the end to fill in the last ten minutes. And that blond lady CSI is a moron.

I've gotten a couple of really weird e-mails from guys at Yahoo! 360...I think I might change my profile there to say I'm not interested in hearing from any guys period...they're just too strange. Of course, whenever I say that, I usually get guys getting all pissy with me for being so "discriminatory" and stuff. If you ask me it's pretty juvenile for guys to get pissy when a woman chooses how to best protect herself online. :P It's not like I don't have good reasons! I've had enough lousy luck with FEMALES to go dealing with more weird MEN...

And yesterday I got a weird e-mail from my AncientSites page...it was just like one sentence, and the person said that they're interested in setting up some sort of nature retreat for their native brothers seeking another path. That was it. No explanation, no elaboration, not even a "Hello, I'm Such-And-Such..." Perplexed, I decided to just reply to tell them that one, I'm not native, two, I'm not a male, and three, I have no idea what they mean by nature retreat or another path or whatever, sorry for the confusion. I hate it when people send these e-mails that they expect you to understand as if you're in on something when you have no clue who the hell this person is or what they want. But, get this...my reply was bounced back as undeliverable because the recipient's address apparently "didn't like" my address--which I take to mean that they have some sort of Spam filter set up and they'd have to add me to their contact list in order to receive mail from me.

How utterly STUPID! They mail me expecting a reply and then don't even add me to their contact list?? Well, what are you expecting as a reply, moron? I tried my junky Outlook Express address in case they have their filters set to reject webmail, but nope, that bounced back too. So I just posted a notice to them on my AncientSites page though they were so negligent in explaining to me what their mail meant and in adding me to their contacts that I doubt they'll be back. Stupid dumbass! If you expect a reply, then add the recipient to your address book or turn off your filter. If not, then don't waste my time mailing me in the first place. Idiot. Wasted fifteen minutes on that person.

*deepbreath*

Enigma's supposed to have a new CD out in several days though knowing my luck Wal-Mart won't bother picking it up... :/

Still uploading my Yahoo! photos... _-_ GETTING there...I think I have fewer than 50 left. Then I have to find time and inclination to update my Powow site. The webmaster seems to have bailed out a year ago so whenever that site has trouble...wait, didn't I already mention this in here? o_o; Sorry. Whatever. My time was taken up this morning untangling Part 155 but I do hope to start responding a bit more tomorrow...not that I'm in great touch with many people as it is, but I'm sure more than a few must be peeved with me by now...

I'm still not sure what to do about the next session. :( I really don't want to keep giving her these entries if it's just about obvious she hasn't the time to read them as indepth as they should be read to get my important points across. I feel bad in the first place giving them to her to begin with. And after the last session, it's all I can do to not feel terribly bitter and misunderstood. I DON'T want to give up...but at the same time I don't think I can take the big leaps she seems to want me to take. Yet on the third hand, I can hardly keep seeing her for another half year and doing absolutely nothing. I can't bear to waste people's time--I'd rather be miserable on my own than do that. So I'd have to figure out what use, if any, I could get out of therapy that I always figured wouldn't be of any use in the first place. I can't keep seeing a therapist if all I'm ever going to do is stare at the floor and cry, but I don't know what else I can do. -_-