01-04-07 @ 1:47 am EST

I really, really hate doing this, especially given my track record of not replying to many people who do comment on my journal. :( Just know that for the most part that's never been anything personal. I always do mean to reply, I just put it off until I feel I'll better be able to gather the right words to say, and then I never end up getting it done.

That having been said...I have a request I'd like to make of anyone and everyone who reads this. It's prompted by what happened in the session with the psychologist yesterday, which I'll post later if I'm able.

I know this sounds really egocentric, and it probably is...but I'd like for anyone who reads this to reply (via note or e-mail) and list all the POSITIVE THINGS you can think of about me. It doesn't matter what they are, or if you repeat what someone else says, but I do have a few stipulations:

1. It has to be the truth as YOU see it. That is, don't say, "You're a good writer" (just an example) just because it's what you've heard or because it seems like I am; say it (if you do feel it) because you know from your own personal experience (i. e., you've read something of mine). (BTW, I don't count journal entries as writing; I'd count them as journaling, though.)

2. It has to be significant or have meaning, at least in your opinion. That is, don't say something like, "Well, um, you're alive, so that must be good." I'm pretty sure nobody would say that, but you know what I mean. I realize I'd likely disagree with what others deem significant or meaningful, but I'll put my opinions on hold this once and trust anyone who replies to be sincere about this.

And lastly,

3. Please don't reply to this if you don't know me well enough to do so, for example, if this is like the only entry of mine you've ever read. I'd like for only people who feel they know me at least moderately well to reply. Though if anyone who doesn't really know me sees this, they're welcome to go browsing through other journal entries or whatever to get to know me better if they want to reply at a later time. If you reply anonymously or I've never heard from you before, it'd be a good idea to at the very least let me know where you know me from so I know you're not a total stranger.

I feel really uncomfortable and awkward posting this request but I do hope at least a few people can answer. Even if you're somebody who reads often but doesn't usually (or ever) reply, I'd appreciate hearing from you. And I really will try to respond to each note/mail, though my replies might be short or just a "Thank you for replying," since I'm poor at communicating with people.

I hope this isn't too much to ask. I need to get a better picture of who I am as a person, and since I never see any strengths or goodness in myself (that's why I'm not asking anyone to list my weaknesses, I already know many of those), perhaps someone who isn't me could do a better job. I do know that in the end I'm the only one who can choose to believe it or not though.